Casual Observer of a Secret Admirer
by shouldbecleaning
Summary: Isabella Swan thought she was invisible at school. At least she had been since the accident with Tyler's van. But now someone is leaving notes in her locker, signed Your Secret Admirer.
1. Chapter 1

**I greatly appreciate the opportunity to mess with the Twilight character. I do not profit from their torture.**

Chapter 1

Sometimes life has strange ripple effects.

Isabella Swan was nine months old when her parents split up. Her mother took primary custody and move them to various places around the country.

Just before Bella's ninth birthday, her mother, Renee, won the state lottery. After taxes and fees she walked away with fifty-seven million dollars. Then, as every good mother would do, she contacted a lawyer, amending the custody arrangements and terminating her parental rights. Bella was shipped back to a father she had only seen a few times. Renee toured the world, first class of course, and was never heard from again.

Charlie Swan was a hard working cop who was at a loss to cope with a small daughter. He tried his best to raise her the best he could. A lot of the 'feminine stuff' scared him so he tended to avoid that aspect of Bella's childhood.

In sixth grade a new family moved to town and Bella met the girl who was to become her best friend.

When Bella was thirteen she fell in love. When she was 14 she wrote him a long letter telling him. She told him why she loved him, what she loved about him. She was fairly certain that he didn't feel the same way, but she did have a glimmer of hope. At the very least they could still be friends.

He never spoke to her again.

Which made life really hard because he was the older brother of her best friend, Alice. She didn't hang out at Alice's much after that. Not even after he went off the college.

The summer before she turned sixteen Alice and her family moved out of town. While they didn't go far, just up to Seattle, this left Bella with no best friend to share her life with.

She had a few friends at school, people would smile at her in the hallways. While she wasn't the most popular, she was liked.

Until Tyler Crowley lost control of his van and crashed into the back of Bella's truck winter semester when Bella was seventeen.

Now, normally when there is a car accident, the person who is obviously in the wrong is vilified. Almost the opposite happened with this one accident.

Tyler was the school's loveable bad boy. He was naughty but not mean. He would pull pranks on almost everyone. No one could hold a grudge against him, something about his light brown eyes, impishly twinkling, could stop any anger towards him. He was captain of the swim team, tall and lanky. He ruled the school. A loveable despot.

He had inherited his brother's panel van. With some overstuffed pillows and lime green carpeting, he was hoping to turn it into a make-out-mobile. This semester he was crushing on Lauren Mallory. She was, so she thought, the prettiest girl in school.

Tyler was speeding to school, thinking about finally getting Lauren in the back of his van, when he hit a patch of black ice. As the tires spun out, he over corrected, failing to turn into the skid, and lost control.

The van smashed sideways into the back of Bella's ancient Chevy truck just as Bella was climbing out of the driver's door. The impact made her fall to the ground, breaking her wrist. A couple of cuts and a nasty road-rash from the momentum paired with the broken wrist stunned Bella and she passed out from the pain.

Tyler wasn't as lucky as Bella, if you could call her lucky. Like most sixteen year-olds, Tyler thought himself indestructible and infinitely smarter than everyone else, therefore he did not deem it necessary to properly wear his seat belt. He liked to tuck the shoulder strap behind him, not liking the way it cut into his chest.

Tyler's van crumpled like an accordion, his head slamming into the windshield causing the glass to crack like a spider web.

There was yelling and shrieking. The ambulance was called, fire and police followed full siren. Charlie was enraged that his little girl was hurt. Tyler was extracted from his van and put on a gurney as Bella was lifted off the ground. The whole school watched as the rescue squad left the parking lot, everyone scared for the fate of their schoolmates.

Tyler woke up in the ambulance and was able to answer a few questions. He admitted that he took the corner too fast and didn't notice the ice.

Bella did not come around for a while, not until the blood was cleaned from her face. It took four stitches to close the cut on her forehead and her left wrist was encased in a green, waterproof cast.

Bella talked her father out of arresting Tyler or killing him. Tyler had fallen asleep again and looked so innocent that Bella could not justify his getting in trouble for a simple accident.

Bella was released to the care of her father and spent the rest of the day on the couch reading.

Tyler had to stay for observation for a concussion. A routine check in the middle of the night found increased intra-cranial pressure. He was given medicine to control the swelling and put into intensive care to be watched more closely.

When he started to improve he was flown to Seattle by helicopter to be examined by a neurologist. He was diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury and would have to spend months in rehabilitation.

**AN: I thought I'd try again. I had such fun posting last time. This is not a period piece, it is a high school fic. It had been a long time since I was in high school so you may have to bear with me. I'm also not American. so I've never had a senior year. I was luck enough to have to do grade thirteen, so yay me, I got extra high school. I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on TV , therefore all medical references are vague and not intended to be scientifically based. There are different levels of traumatic brain injury and the consequences and outcomes are different for each person. I am in no way belittling or making fun of those who have survived, and are still surviving such an injury and I abhor anyone who does.**

**This story will post every three days, not daily like Swallow.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Twilight, I do own a sore back from shovelling snow. If I owned Twilight I would also own a snowblower or a yard boy.**

Chapter 2

Two days after the accident Bella went back to school. Her father, Charlie, had to drive her to school in his police cruiser until her truck could be fixed. There was a bit of body damage and busted tail lights, but other than that her truck was fine.

Most of the kids there, not just the gossipy ones, came up to her and asked after her injuries. They wanted to know exactly what had happened to her and if she had any information about Tyler. They wanted to know if she was going to have him charged for the accident and the damage to her truck. They grew tired of asking Bella questions when she gave them little information. Broken wrist; no, she hadn't heard about Tyler; no, she wasn't having him charged, it was just an accident. She did not give them enough to fuel the gossip mill.

Her few school friends were still nice, Angela helped her with her locker and at lunch. Bella was rather happy that she did not have to participate in gym, even if she had to write an essay instead. For Bella, it was an okay school day.

After the following weekend, things started to change at school. Her school friends, who would smile and say 'hi' in the corridors, stopped being friendly. Angela still sat with her at lunch but was more distant with her. People started to whisper as Bella walked by them in the hall, and stop whispering suddenly whenever she walked into a classroom. Bella endured a week of this before she found out the reason why.

Mike Newton, Tyler's best friend and cohort, had driven up to Seattle to visit Tyler at the hospital. Mr. and Mrs. Crowley were still reeling from the diagnosis they had been given about Tyler. They told Mike that Tyler may never be the same. He was having trouble speaking, would forget words, or use the wrong one. He was quick to anger and frustrated over the smallest things like a wrinkle in the sheets or the blind being to far away from the window. The nurses had him up and walking but his gait had changed. Instead of the confident strut he always had, he was shuffling his feet, almost dragging his right side.

They were looking into a rehabilitation facility for him. It could be months before he came home and even then, there was no guarantee that he would improve. They worried about seizures and learning difficulties, how he would cope at school. If he could even go back to school.

Tyler was completely and irrevocably changed by one accident.

When Mike got back to Forks he called all Tyler's buddies and girlfriends, telling them about Tyler. Telling them how much the accident had changed Tyler's life. How unfair it was that Tyler, the king of the school was stuck in rehab, struggling to recapture his life. How unfair it was that Bella, school nobody and mouse, was fine like nothing had happened. Intellectually, most of the group knew it wasn't Bella's fault, Tyler had been speeding and skidded on the ice. However emotionally, well, most teenagers are not emotionally rational. The group decided that everyone at school needed to know about Tyler and Bella.

The decision was made to freeze Bella out. Some had wanted to get revenge for Tyler, but cooler heads prevailed.

The biggest phone tree Forks had ever witnessed happened that weekend. If you wanted to have any friends at Forks High, you ignored Bella Swan.

Some kids didn't really want to, but couldn't stand up to the majority. In a small town, where everyone know everything about you, it can be hard to stand up for what you think is unfair. Bella was already mostly ignored anyway.

Angela Webber had the hardest time with the idea. She didn't have many friends at school and she was graduating a year early anyway. She only had to survive at Forks High for a few more months. She decided to continue sharing a lunch table with Bella, and ignore everything else. It would be fairly easy for her to do.

Bella noticed the change in everyone but didn't have the courage to ask why. She just resigned herself to her friendless state. She still had her sporadic email exchange with Alice and that would have to do. At least she had one friend. She didn't tell Alice anything about what was happening at school. She didn't want Alice to get the idea of dropping her as well.

Bella made sure that her emails to Alice were full of questions, questions Alice would have to answer. Questions about Alice's favourite topics, the fashion projects Alice was working on, the music Alice listened to and the most favourite, Alice's relationship with her boyfriend Jasper.

While Alice did not know the full story of Bella's confession of love for her brother, she had accepted Bella's request not to talk of him. Bella had told her that they had gotten into a fight and that it was all Bella's fault.

So, Bella spent the rest of her junior year in relative isolation. Her summer was spent cleaning her father's house, cooking his meals, washing his clothes and working shifts at Newton's Outfitter's.

Mike Newton tried everything he could to get his parents to fire Bella but they refused. She was a good worker, responsible and conscientious. He was able to make sure she got the worse shifts, late nights and early weekend mornings. Bella didn't mind the shifts, it got her out of the house and helped pad her college fund. Mike made sure to never speak to Bella unless his mother was there and he had no choice.

The resumption of school did not thrill Bella. She was ready for the purgatory that was her senior year armed with the mantra of 'one more year'.

She didn't know it was going to be the most interesting year in her school career.

**AN: Wow. So a couple of people were wondering about the pairing. This is not a poly story, Bella is the main character. The other two...one is for friendship, the other for romance. If you really want to know, send me a PM, I'll give you a smart ass answer.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Twilight or Harry Potter. I'd like to.**

Chapter 3

The school hallways were buzzing with excitement. Not just the excitement of a new year but with the news that Tyler Crowley was coming back. The king of the school was returning.

He had left the rehab hospital in late August and was going to finish his junior year. He was only about a semester behind the rest of his class. Wide smiles were on the faces of all the students, giddy with anticipation of having the king back to grace their hallways.

For the last period of the day, the junior and senior class was gathered in the cafeteria for an assembly. It was an assembly about Tyler and his return to school. The school board thought that if the students had all the information they may need that Tyler wouldn't be singled out or bullied.

Mr. and Mrs. Crowley were there, as well as a nurse from the local hospital and Bella's police chief father, Charlie. After a stern lecture from the principal about bullying and school expectations, the nurse gave a talk about traumatic brain injuries and the consequences. She explained the science behind brain injuries and how the classes could help him succeed

Charlie talked to them about driving safety and the need to wear a seat belt. His lecture included a recap of winter driving and the need for caution. He had dramatic pictures of accidents to frighten the kids into compliance.

The Crowleys went on to talk about their son and the changes that had occurred due to his injury. They mentioned the difficulties he now faced with is mobility and learning. They talked about the role of the intervener they had hired to help him with his schooling and social interactions. They also talked about his temper.

The students were asked to all but ignore the intervener, to let him do his job for Tyler. He was there to help Tyler with his mobility, his concentration, his temper and his organizational skills. The intervener was a former Forks High student who some of the older students might remember, but the students were asked to focus on Tyler and not his intervener.

The intervener was studying physiotherapy and kinesiology, taking a year as a work study to help Tyler. He was employed by the Crowleys and not by the school board. He would shadow Tyler to all his classes and generally be there just in case Tyler needed him.

After the assembly Bella was approached by her English teacher, Mr. Berty, and the Crowleys for a favour. As Bella had study hall just after lunch everyday and was such a strong student could she use her study hall time by reading to Tyler so that the intervener could take lunch? Tyler would normally have gym at that time but was exempt due to his condition. It was just reading in the library, not therapy or homework help. In exchange she would be paid for her hour's help.

Bella refused the pay but the Crowleys and Mr. Berty insisted on some sort of payment. They finally reached an agreement that a couple of letters of recommendation to add to her college applications were the best thing. Bella was glad to be of help and happy to have some peer interaction. The Crowleys and Bella decided that the Harry Potter series would be the best books for them to read as Tyler had fallen in love with the movies while in rehab. While it seemed a slightly odd book series for a seventeen year old boy, Tyler had regressed a bit with his injury. He was, in some ways, acting more like a thirteen year old instead.

Bella was asked to meet early the next morning with the intervener and Tyler in the library to go over any requirements and voice any concerns. She would take her instructions from him, he would be a liaison between Bella and the Crowleys.

Bella left the first day of school with a little extra bounce in her step. She was so happy to have a purpose at school and a chance to help someone. She was hoping to get into teaching or early childhood education in college and looked at the opportunity as her first step towards that goal.

When Bella got home she found her Harry Potter books and started re-reading the first book as a refresher. She got lost in the world of Hogwarts and was surprised by her father's arrival at home. She ran down the stairs with a renewed vigour wondering what to make for dinner.

She prattled on and on about school and reading to Tyler, while preparing a simple pasta dish. The excitement in her voice catching her father by surprise. There hadn't been much excitement in Bella since Alice had moved years ago. It had pained her father to see her coasting through life alone. He worried about her all the time but never let her know.

Bella hadn't told her father anything about her treatment at school since the accident. There was nothing he could do about it so there was no reason to let him know. It's not as if he could arrest the other students for not talking to her. Bella hadn't even told Alice about her ostracism, it wasn't something Bella dwelt on at all. She had just accepted that that was the way things were going to be from now on.

After washing the dishes and folding a load of laundry Bella excused herself to bed. She read late into the evening, finishing the first book. When she finally fell asleep, she dreamt of the world of Wizards and Muggles.

Bella woke early, having trouble staying in bed for too long. She was too excited to sleep. After a quick shower, she dressed carefully trying to look grown up and professional.

She made her way downstairs without waking her father and set about making breakfast. A bleary eyed Charlie tramped down the stairs in his uniform surprised with the smells of bacon wafting it's way through the house. He found his daughter at the stove, wearing an apron over her pretty, green blouse, flipping pancakes and humming to herself. He poured them both a cup of coffee and sat to wait for his meal.

Bella hummed all through breakfast, barely able to eat anything due to her excitement. Her copies of the Harry Potter series beside her plate reminding her of what she was going to start today. When it finally became time to go she kissed her father on the cheek. It shocked the hell out of him because they were not a demonstrative family.

Bella ran out to her truck and climbed in, she gunned the engine as fast as it would go and made it to school in record time. She jogged to the library and waited at a table as close to the doors as she could. She didn't have to wait very long.


	4. Chapter 4

**Twilight is not mine. I'm more of a night owl.**

Chapter 4

Tyler came into the library first. His famous swagger replaced with a careful stride as he walked over the table where Bella was waiting. Bella smiled and watched him the whole time he walked over to her. She didn't look at the man following him. If she had seen him she might have changed her mind about the whole exercise.

It wasn't until she heard a throat clearing that she looked at Tyler's intervener. It was Edward Cullen, Alice's brother. The boy she had made a fool of herself over more than three years ago. The boy she had pledged her undying love for only to have him ignore her. The boy who had become a man so much more handsome over the years.

He had grown a few inches, now standing well over six feet tall. His hair had darken to a deeper brown with sun-streaks in multiple shades. He seemed broader in the chest and shoulders, emphasizing his slim waist. He wore jeans and a button-down shirt, simple but on him, elegant.

Bella was, in a word, fucked. Not only was he back but she would have to talk to him again, see him almost every day, interact with him. She was sure he hated her from the look he was giving her now. He looked in pain, like someone was tweezing out a nose hair. His mouth was curled up into a sneer, his eyes cold.

The blush on Bella's face was almost vermilion in colour. She felt like she could pass out at any second. She struggled to find her breath as she stood up. She tried to ignore Edward and focus on Tyler. Bella held out her hand and waited for Tyler to do the same.

"Hey Tyler, good to see you again. How are you today?" She asked as he took her hand and shook.

"Hi Bella. I'm fine. How are you?" His voice was almost the same as before, maybe a little more tentative and unsure. Tyler still had the twinkle in his eye that Bella associated with naughtiness.

"Fine, fine. So I guess we're going to read together. I read the Philosopher's Stone last night and I can't wait to get into the others. It's one of my most favourite books. I'm very happy to do this with you." Bella knew she was babbling but made no effort to stop.

Edward cleared his throat again. He wondered why Bella was talking to Tyler and not to him. He wasn't very happy that the student the Crowleys had found to help out was Bella. He didn't want her crush on him to effect Tyler. He hoped that Bella took the job because of Tyler and not because of him. Did she know he was Tyler's intervener?

Bella finally focused her attention on Edward. She would have given anything not to be I the same room with Edward Cullen ever again. But here she was and here he was and there was nothing she could do about it. She decided to pretend as if nothing ever happened between Edward and herself. With all the mental strength she could muster, she smiled at Edward and attempted to make nice.

"Hi Edward, nice to see you." She held her hand out to him.

He looked at her hand and then back to her face. He nodded, but did not shake.

"So, you'll meet with Tyler here in the library every day at twelve thirty. For the first few days I'll stay here to make sure everything goes well. Then when everyone is comfortable I'll start leaving the two of you alone to get on with it. Is that okay with you?"

Bella was mildly concerned that he didn't even want to shake her hand. Well, screw him, she thought. She nodded back at him and sat at the table again. She motioned for Tyler to sit too. Tyler had a little trouble coordinating pulling out the chair and sitting. He seemed to lean a bit too much to one side. He grinned at her when he was comfortable.

Edward sat down with a huff.

"Do you have any questions?"

Bella cut her eyes to the side, refusing to look directly at Edward.

"Not for you," she said.

"So Tyler, what do you like? Different voices for each character or all the same tone?"

Tyler was pleased, since the accident, some people seem to forget he was able to think for himself. They would ask questions to his parents or doctors but not to him. He liked that this girl was paying more attention to him than to his intervener.

"All the same, I think. The guy who does the discs is really good and he does different accents but it's not my favourite."

Bella nodded her head, making note to listen to samples of the audiobooks.

"Cool, so I'll see you after lunch?" She smiled at Tyler again.

"Thanks Bella." Tyler looked over at Edward, Edward stood up so Tyler did too.

"Ty, why don't you go look at the magazines for a minute. I want to speak to Bella, okay?" Edward asked Tyler.

Tyler shuffled away as Edward glared at Bella.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked her not very nicely.

"The Crowleys asked me to, and I thought it would be a fun way to spend study hall. Why?" Bella had no idea why he was so mad at her.

"Never mind. Here." He shoved a piece of paper at her. "Tyler has seizures, not very often, but if he does and I'm not here, call these numbers, in order."

Bella looked down at the paper, there were about six numbers on the list. She nodded at Edward and folded the paper to put in her pocket.

"I'm certified in First Aid, my Dad insisted, so I know what to do. Anything else?" She asked, really wanting to get away from Edward, now.

"Not right now, I'll let you know if there is anything else later."

"Fine."

"Fine." He didn't have anything else to say to her. He would watch her in action to see if she was suitable. If she wasn't, he'd get her replaced.

Bella stood and watched as Edward collected Tyler and led him out of the library. She looked down at her pile of books and wondered what the rest of their interactions would be like.

**AN: I forgot to add a note to the last chapter, my bad. So, yes, as almost everyone guessed, Edward is the intervener. And surprise, he is a jerk. What else would he be? We have to torture Bella a little longer before we get to the warm fuzzies.**

**When my son first started to listen to audiobooks he played them over and over until it felt like Jim Dale had moved into our house. I was so happy when he got earphones.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Twilight. I have two kittens, though, they are really cute. Although, one of them bites my legs when she gets hungry.**

Chapter 5

Morning classes went by quickly for Bella. Lunch, however, took forever. She sat alone at her table and watched the never ending parade of people crowd around Tyler, welcoming him back.

Bella smiled wistfully at the crowd, happy that Tyler had his popularity back. She only hoped that it was permanent, that the other students would still be friendly with Tyler once the novelty had worn off.

As she was looking at the crowd she caught the eye of Mike Newton. He gave her a foul look that made her want to run and hide. So, nothing had changed there. When she turned her eyes to look away from him she found herself looking at Edward. The look her gave her was not as foul as Mike's, but it wasn't friendly either.

Bella sighed and lowered her head. This was going to be a long, difficult year. She had never felt as lonely as she did in that moment. It's one thing to be alone, and she was used to being alone, but to have so many people angry at her for reasons she really didn't understand, made it lonelier.

She couldn't write to Alice for sympathy. She had kept Alice in the dark about a lot of things, her brother especially. Plus, Alice was kind of self-centred, and fully, nauseatingly in love with Jasper. He was the main topic of conversation when Bella did talk to Alice. Bella was very happy for her friend, but that did not help the lonely feelings.

There was no way Bella could talk to Alice about Edward without revealing her former crush. Bella did her best to swallow down the emotions and picked up her lunch bag. Maybe if she walked slowly, it would seem to be time to meet with Tyler sooner than just sitting there waiting in the cafeteria.

Edward looked at his watch.

"Hey Ty, it's time to go." Edward stood and waited for Tyler.

Tyler was quick to get up, he was excited to read with Bella. He remembered that she had a really nice voice. Plus he got to spend an hour with a pretty girl.

Edward walked Tyler to the library and found a table hidden at the back where they wouldn't be disturbed by other students. Bella followed them in a few seconds later.

She glanced at Edward quickly but decided to pretend he wasn't there. She kept her focus on Tyler, giving him a big smile and asking about his day. They sat together at one end of the table and Edward sat at the other end. He pulled his lunch out of his satchel and reached in for his sandwich. He had received special permission from the librarian to eat in the library, just for this week. Later she would let him eat in her office for a while. She always had a soft spot for Edward. If she had been a few, maybe twenty years younger...

Bella opened the book and started to read.

"Chapter one, The Boy who Lived."

Bella read for almost the whole hour. Tyler interrupted a few times to ask questions about words he had forgotten the meanings of, and to make a few observations. Mostly he just closed his eyes and let her voice wash over him.

Bella answered each of his questions without fail. She was patient and kind, she didn't belittle him for asking for the definition of words that everyone else would know. She explained the definitions with words that were easy for him to follow but not condescending or impatient.

Edward found himself listening more closely than he thought he would. He had planned to do some paperwork and answer some emails while Bella read to Tyler. Bella made him uncomfortable, he didn't want to be reminded about her crush. But he had to admit that she had a nice voice and good cadence. The hour was more relaxing than Edward thought it would be.

Edward felt it would be easier to hate Bella for crushing on him. She was just a kid when she wrote him that letter, his little sister's buddy. They had been friendly, but not necessarily friends. Awkward and gangly, with those huge brown eyes that followed him everywhere, like some creepy-assed painting There was no reciprocation, at eighteen there was no way he was going to get involved with a fourteen year old. It was easy to just ignore her, pretend it never happened.

Bella was being so great with Tyler, treating him like an equal, not like some damaged person. It was simple to see that she had respect for him, something that hadn't been given to him much since his injury. The way she treated him made Edward see her in a different light.

His sister had been such an annoying teenager, giggly, squeaky and just plain noisy. He had assumed that Bella was the same way. He had done everything in his power to stay as far away from the pair of them as possible. He knew next to nothing about her, he never cared enough to learn. But seeing her with Tyler, the way she interacted with him, almost made Edward want to get to know her.

Bella was older now, legal, and if Edward had to come clean, she was kind of cute. Not drop dead gorgeous, but cute. Long brown hair, nice legs, great ass, tits; a nice handful. A good little package. But Edward was here to work and to learn not to pick up chicks or get his dick wet. Maybe it would be better to stay away from her as much as possible. Just see her a few minutes a day and that was it. He'd try to keep her out of his mind as best he could.

Bella finished reading chapter five, leaving Harry Potter feeling overwhelmed with too much information. She knew how he felt, she knew what it was like to feel like nobody special. However, she was never thrust into a situation where she was proved wrong. And she knew she never would be. Her life would be safe and boring and predictable. She'd graduate, get a job, date a few guys, grow old and die. Hopefully in that order. She didn't want fanfare and accolades, she just wanted to be liked. She wanted someone to see her, to be there for her and perhaps even to love her, if she was so lucky.

Bella closed her eyes and sighed, getting the depressing feelings out of her mind. She patted Tyler's arm and said that she'd see him same time tomorrow. As she left the library, she didn't even look at Edward. There was no point.

**AN: Sad Bella. And Edward is still a jerk.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Twilight. **

Chapter 6

By the end of the first week they were almost finished with the Philosopher's Stone. Their time together was fun for both and certainly educational for Edward. He found himself looking forward to the time in the library.

Bella was sad for the weekend to start. Her eighteenth birthday was on Sunday and as far as she knew there were no plans to celebrate. Her father usually spent every Sunday either fishing or watching sports. Newton's was only open half days on Sunday so Bella didn't have to work. The only thing she really had to look forward to was laundry.

Bella went to bed Saturday night happy, having just read a very long, newsy email from Alice. The birthday card Alice had sent arrived Friday and held its place on her bedside table. Alice's email was full of stories about her parents, her school, her boyfriend and her life. Alice painted such lovely pictures with her words that Bella was almost able to visualize Alice running through her life. Bella dreamt that night of summers and sleepovers spent with her best friend. Edward was only a misty shadow in the background.

She woke up Sunday morning to the smell of burnt toast and the sound of her father swearing. Bella ran down the stairs with her bathrobe in her hand to find her father trying to make breakfast. Charlie was many things but a good cook he was not. If he had stuck to a simple breakfast it wouldn't have been a problem, but he tried to do too much. Bella giggled at the sight of him furiously scrambling eggs and flipping sausage.

Despite the burnt toast, it was one of the best breakfasts Bella had ever had. Her father was in a great mood, telling stories of his adventures and weird arrests. They sat at the table well into the morning, just talking, until the smell of burnt toast was gone. Bella was happy to spend the day doing her chores as her father watched something involving sports.

Bella went to school the next morning with hope, she didn't even mind having Edward around at reading time. She didn't mind the glares she got from Mike and his little pack of jerks. She didn't mind the homework she was assigned by her teachers. Her good mood carried on through the week and as they started reading The Chamber of Secrets.

Tyler and Bella quickly established that Dobby was one of their favourite characters even if he caused Harry trouble. By the end of the week they were half way through and very excited for the end of the story.

The weeks went on and as The Chamber of Secrets led into The Prisoner of Azkaban and then The Goblet of Fire their friendship grew. Tyler tried everything he could think of the get Bella to dress up for Hallowe'en with him. He was dressing up like Harry, of course, and all his friends were going to be Quidditch players. She very nicely refused, not wanting to give the school another reason to hate her. She did drive over to his house that evening and show him her Sybil Trelawney outfit, much to Tyler's delight.

Unfortunately Bella witnessed Tyler have a seizure for the first time just after Hallowe'en. They were alone in the library, Edward had an appointment. Tyler had been unusually quiet when he came to the library and about 5 minutes after she started reading he began seizing with his right arms twitching uncontrollably. She jumped to her feet and helped him to the floor so he wouldn't hit his head on the way down. She quickly moved everything she could out of his way and started to dial the phone numbers on her list. The paramedics arrived first to assess the situation. Tyler's mother pulled up to the school just as they were taking Tyler out to the ambulance. Edward was right behind her.

Tyler's mother rode in the ambulance with him, Bella drover her car over to the hospital so she could have it later. The nurses got as much information from Bella as they could to help with Tyler's recovery. She let them know the duration, the symptoms she witnessed before and after the seizure, and she answered all their questions as best she could.

When Bella was done with the nurses, she went to find Mrs. Crowley to give her the car keys. Bella brushed off any praise for her comportment during the episode and hugged Mrs. Crowley tightly as she cried. Edward gave her a simple thank you as Bella left the hospital to go back to school. After meeting with the principal Bella left school early for the day.

Bella lay down on her bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time, going over the days events in her mind. She had never felt so scared before, so out of control. Thinking back she had no idea how she kept her cool. She wiped away the few tears on her cheeks and went downstairs to start dinner. Bella had to go to work for a few hours but wanted to get an early start on dinner before she left. It would make the rest of the night easier.

Bella was very happy not to have to work with Mike that night. She had caught him glaring at her again as the ambulance pulled away with Tyler. Work was uneventful and therefore incredibly boring. As was the rest of her night. She told Charlie what happened at school and called Mrs. Crowley to check up on Tyler. The doctors were keeping him home from school the next day so Bella did not have reading to look forward to.

Bella had a very bad morning. Everything that could go wrong went wrong, no hot water, coffee grounds in the coffee, curdled milk and waking late. Bella was in a bad mood before she even walked into the school.

She was very surprised to find a note shoved into her locker when she went to retrieve her lunch bag. She slipped it into her pocket to read later when she was in the library after lunch.

**AN: But what does the note say? I would like to thank Midnight Cougar for recommending this story on tehlemonadestand. She did so even after experiencing my supreme weirdness via email. Either she is very, very nice or she's afraid that I'm crazy and she's placating me. I'm going with nice, and kind, and patient, and thoughtful, and generous, and ...**


	7. Chapter 7

**I so don't own Twilight, I did own a yummy Tim Horton's muffin. I love pretending that I'm not eating cake for breakfast.**

Chapter 7

Bella sat a her usual table in the library, the note from her locker unfolded in front of her. Her elbows were on the table and her head was in her hands. She wasn't crying, she refused to cry, she would wait until she was no longer at school before she let herself cry. She was angry more than she was sad, her bad mood peaking with reading that stupid note.

Bella looked up when she heard someone approaching her table. She was hoping that it was the librarian but her luck was not that good. It was Edward, of course it was Edward. The last person in the world she wanted to deal with today. She waited for him to sit and start the conversation, she wasn't going to say anything to him.

"I wanted to thank you for your help yesterday with Tyler. He is feeling much better and they tweaked his meds a bit so it hopefully won't happen again." Bella stayed still while Edward made his little speech not trusting herself not to go off on him. She nodded at him when he was done and moved to start packing up her stuff.

"Wait, Bella. Why won't you talk to me? I mean I know that things between us are strained and I probably hurt your feelings before but get over it. It was a long time ago. This is about Tyler, not you. That's why you agreed to this right?"

She levelled him with a glare. He had better have been joking. This was the last shit she needed today.

"Anyway, Tyler will be back tomorrow. I need you to keep a close eye on him, to see if there are any after effects from the seizure. Can you do that?"

Bella scrunched her eyes tight and let out a deep breath. She looked at him and nodded again.

"Good. Hey, what are you doing in here anyway? Why aren't you hanging out with your friends?" Edward smiled at her.

Bella had all she could take. She slapped her hands down on the table, hard. She stood up, grabbed her stuff and ran out of the library. If she had to spend another minute with him she would be accountable for her actions. She had never hurt another person before but she would happily ram his head into the table over and over again.

Edward had no idea what was going on with her. He thought about chasing after her but decided against it. Anyway, he had to get back to the Crowley's place.

In her rush to get away from Edward, Bella had forgotten the note. It had fallen to the floor beside the table. Edward bent to pick it up, he thought he'd return it to her tomorrow. As he started to fold the note again curiosity got the better of him and he read it.

**LEAVE TYLER ALONE. **

**HAVEN'T YOU CAUSED HIM ENOUGH TROUBLE? **

**YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HURT WORSE THAN HIM.**

**NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE.**

The letter was written all in caps. It was hard to say if it was written by a guy or a girl.

Edward was shocked. Who would write that to Bella? And why Bella, she was such a quiet, unassuming little thing. Maybe he had been wrong about her. She was good with Tyler, patient and kind whenever he asked questions. She was very quick and level-headed when he had his seizure.

Edward had assumed that Bella would spend her time mooning over him and not paying attention to Tyler. She hadn't, she had barely given him the time of day. Either she was over her little crush or she was more grown-up than he thought. He tried to remember what she had written in her letter to him, he couldn't recall. He had barely even skimmed it, skipping big chunks of the letter and focusing on her declaration only. Maybe there was more to it than just I love you. He wished he still had it, it might be good to read it, to help figure her out.

He felt really bad about what he had said to her. Telling her to just get over him when some kids at school were bullying her. He realized he hadn't been much better than the person who wrote that note. He hadn't even given her a chance, he had decided the moment he saw that she was the one to help out that she was up to no good. What a vain asshole he had become. All the attention he had gotten in college from pretty girls had gone to his head. A little part of him liked that Bella had fallen for him, it was a good ego boost even if she was just a kid at the time.

He was cocky when he got to school in Seattle, a big man on campus. He had had no trouble getting dates when he wanted them, a few one night stands here and there, girls telling him how handsome he was. He didn't really care. He wasn't a slut by any means but he was never hurting for female companionship. He wasn't looking for 'the one' or even 'the one for now', so why not have a little fun while you can.

But apparently his ego had grown too much and he needed to step back and rethink. He needed to apologize to Bella for assuming and treating her like dirt. Maybe he could find who was picking on her and make them stop. That sounded like a good apology.

Edward drove back to the Crowley's house thinking about Bella and how to help her. He couldn't decide if he should tell her he knows about the bullying or just to stop it without her knowledge. He should probably go to the school and tell them about Bella, but he wasn't sure what they could do. The letter wasn't a direct threat or signed. The handwriting made it hard to figure out who wrote it. Maybe if he asked around some of the kids could give him the information he wanted.

He decided to go to Bella's after work and give her back the note. He didn't want her to worry about it falling into the wrong hands.

**AN: Edward gets smacked on the head, sort of. Bella is pissed off and she's not going to take it any more.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a frozen front door and a crap load of chores to do before we lose power.**

Chapter 8

Bella had run off to the girl's bathroom slamming the stall door behind her. She sat on the closed toilet and let her frustrations out. There was not a chance in hell she would let Edward see her cry. However, now that she was on her own, she let the tears flow. Of all the self-righteous, sanctimonious assholes in the world she had to be stuck with the pretty one. The arrogance of that man. The gall he had to say to her get over it. As if he was the centre of the universe.

She tried to remember why it was she had fallen for him the first time. What had it been about him that lured her in? Sure he was handsome, beautiful even, but he had seemed so kind before. He always helped his mother, doing chores around the house that she needed. He drove his sister where she needed to go and looked out for her at school. He had been friendly to Bella whenever she was around Alice. Bella remembered listening to several debates between Edward and his father regarding the treatment of patients in the medical system. He was so eloquent and succinct in his arguments that it made Bella look at him in a different light. She found his intelligence attractive.

He wasn't so attractive now, she thought petulantly, and decidedly less intelligent.

Bella wiped her eyes. She left the bathroom stall and went to the sink to wash the tears from her face. She had two more classes to get through before she could go home. As she cleaned her face she decided that she wouldn't let anyone know how much that stupid note hurt her. Now that she finally understood why everyone at school ignored her she felt nothing but pity for their closed mindedness. To blame her for Tyler's injury was asinine.

He was the one driving and not wearing his seatbelt properly. He was the one speeding on icy streets. He hit her and broke her wrist, scarred her face, and scared her.

She had done nothing, been an innocent bystander, a victim. If they wanted to hate for it, so be it. She wasn't going to waste her time and energy trying to change their minds. There were only a few months left to the school year and then she could leave this town and all it's stupid people.

With this new resolve Bella went to class and finished her day. She didn't give a rat's ass who wrote the note. She wasn't going to tell anyone about it. If she got more of them or if they became threatening she would tell her dad but until then there was nothing to do about it.

After school she had to work a few hours. She was on cash register duty that evening which lent a lot of time for thinking. There were very few customers, not much call for sporting equipment in November. The weather hadn't turned to winter yet, so no snow gear was sold. It was too cold for camping, at least in her opinion, and too wet for hiking.

Bella was allowed to read if there were no customers but asked not to do homework. She was currently re-reading Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, losing herself in pre-war Japan. She had read it once before and thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of the way the book was written.

Bella was so lost in the book she almost missed quitting time. She counted her cash drawer and made the deposit. She did her clean up and final sweep of the store, clocking out just a few minutes late. After turning off the lights and locking the doors, she went out to her truck to find that someone had smeared peanut butter on her side mirror. It was quite common for some kids to pull pranks for a while after Hallowe'en.

She grumbled to herself, swearing quietly under her breath as she wiped the goop away with the paper towel she kept in her truck. She'd have to wash it properly when she got home, in the dark and the cold, which led to another string of curse words.

Bella was happy that Charlie was working nights so that he wouldn't know what time she got home. She didn't have to hurry to get home to make his dinner or to clean up if she had made leftovers. She had a few hours until his shift ended at eleven, more than enough time to clean her mirror and get ready for bed. She drove home slowly, not wanting to get in an accident because her mirror was streaked with peanut butter, it was a bitch to get off the glass.

Bella got home safely, only passing one car on the way. She ran into the house to grab some cleaning supplies taking the time to put her dinner in the microwave to heat. It only took a few minutes to get the rest of the residue off the mirror, even in the cold and dark. She gathered her supplies to go back into the house and checked the mailbox on her way in. She left the mail on the table and grabbed her dinner. When she was comfortably settled she rifled through the mail, knowing that there would be nothing for her but hoping all the same.

In the middle of a bunch of flyers and junk mail was a folded piece of paper with her name on it. She unfolded it and read, it was the same note she had gotten in her locker. Which meant either the same twit who had written it in the first place was now leaving them at her home or, worse, that Edward had found it in the library after she had left. If Edward had found it that meant that he had read it and been to her house to drop it off.

That idea horrified her more than receiving the note in the first place. She didn't want him to know. She didn't want him to know anything about her life. She didn't want his pity or concern. She didn't even want him near her house.

**AN: Happy Oscar Night.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Twilight is not mine. What is mine, -32c with windchill, and I'm more than willing to share with anyone who asks. I'm even willing to ship.**

Chapter 9

Bella woke up after a disturbed sleep with a don't give a shit attitude. Whoever the little turd was that left that note in her locker could bite her. Mr. and Mrs. Crowley had asked her to help Tyler and no one was going to make her stop but them. She dressed in black to match her attitude, getting ready quietly so she didn't wake her dad. She skipped breakfast, choosing only coffee and got her lunch together. After making sure there was enough fresh coffee for Charlie she drove to school. Bella ignored all of her classmates and carried on her morning as usual.

She sat in the cafeteria with her book, pretending to be alone, eating her lunch. Ten minutes before the bell rang she made her way to the library. She waited at their table for Tyler to arrive.

Edward carefully watched Bella over lunch. He had only just noticed that she ate lunch by herself. Tyler was surrounded by all his friends, laughing and joking about their teachers and homework. He had been missed the day before and everyone was trying to catch up with him. Edward noticed Bella slip out of the cafeteria early and looked around at Tyler's table. He didn't see anyone looking at Bella, it was like she wasn't even there. When they arrived at the library, Bella was at the table, the thick Harry Potter book in front of her. He tried to catch her eye, to smile at her and let her know he saw her but she refused to look at him. She greeted Tyler and started a summary of the last few chapters so that there wouldn't be any confusion about where they left off.

Edward slipped out of the library as Harry was beginning the first task of fighting dragons. Edward made note to himself that maybe he should read the books too so that he knew what was going on. He went out the parking lot at had his lunch in his car. He didn't want to go far in case Tyler needed him.

He could only sit still for half an hour before he wanted to go back to the library. He walked slowly back into the school unsure if Bella would allow him to listen in on her reading. Maybe he could find a place hidden where he could listen without her knowing. As he walked through the school he came upon a group of seniors studying in the hallway. He vaguely recognized them, they weren't the ones that fawned over Tyler at lunch, but he knew one of the girls had been friendly with Alice when they lived here. He approached the group trying to think of her name and how to get the information he wanted from her.

"Hey there, you used to hang out with my sister, right?" He felt ridiculous, but the girl nodded.

"Yeah, I'm Katie. How is she?"

"Good, good. Loves the city. She's seeing this guy Jasper"

"Cool, tell her I said hi." Edward nodded at her.

"So, I wanted to ask, what's going on with Bella Swan, Alice's friend? I don't see her around much." Edward lied trying to get information.

"Oh God, that's so embarrassing. Okay, so after the swim team found out that Tyler was hurt really badly and would have trouble for the rest of his life, they decided that it was Bella fault some how. It didn't really make sense to some of us but they ordered that everyone ignore her, cause she wasn't really popular and Tyler was. They, mainly Mike, blamed her, said she should be the one with the brain injury. They said that if anyone was found being friendly with her that they would pay. I don't know why we all went along with it. It is really mean but it's hard, you know, when all the popular kids want you to do something, you just have to do it. You know, like survival. It's a really small school. Shit, I feel really bad for her and everything but there is only one of her and lots of them, you know? And then it got to the point where we had all done it for so long we kind of forgot about her. It's like a habit, you know. I hadn't really thought about her until you asked."

Edward just looked at her, confused. First, man, she talks a lot. He had trouble understanding her. Second, that was the stupidest thing he had ever heard of. He thought that kids were smarter than that. He wondered if he had ever been that stupid. Probably. But these kids were like sheep. Just because one kid said jump, they all did. Wasn't there one intelligent student at this school? Other than Bella?

"You have got to be fucking kidding me. Tell me you're joking and something else happened."

Katie and her friends just hung their heads. Katie eventually looked back at Edward. She shook her head.

"Shit." He couldn't think of anything else to say. He turned and went back to the library. He hid behind some stacks and thought about what Katie had told him.

He didn't know what to do. He wasn't supposed to interfere with the students, he was just supposed to help Tyler. He could tell the Crowley's, they had enough to deal with. He didn't think the school could do anything, or would do anything. Was this even considered bullying? He could see Bella's father showing up in full uniform and scaring the crap out of all the kids, and as much as he liked that picture, Chief Swan wasn't the right person to go to either.

Edward realized, eventually that there was one person who would probably be perfect. Tyler.

Tyler liked Bella and if he knew what his friends were doing in his name, he's get really mad. But Edward wasn't sure how to go about it. Tyler was still learning how to regulate his temper. Edward didn't want Tyler to really lose it with his buddies, just for him to tell them how stupid they were being and to make them stop. Then, maybe, if Bella was happy again, Edward wouldn't feel like such a shithead. He needed a plan.

**AN: I love supreme stupidity. It is universal and ageless.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own the last two bags of sidewalk salt in the city, but not Twilight. Would be willing to trade, though.**

Chapter 10

Bella had become so accustomed to pretending that she didn't exist at school, she didn't notice the looks she was getting from Katie and her friends. After talking to Edward, the girls chatted late into the night about Bella and the law regarding talking to her. They had realized how stupid it had been to follow the popular crowd. They felt really bad for the part they had played in ostracizing Bella. They knew that they couldn't just jump in and make her their best friend but they could be nicer. They could smile hello and talk to her in class or in the halls. They also wanted to get as many students on Bella's side as they could.

Bella arrived at her locker to find another note. She was tempted to just throw it away but decided to read it instead. If the notes became threatening she'd tell her dad. This one was shorter than the last one. It simply said **I'm sorry I was mean to you**. Bella didn't know what to make of it. No one had been outright mean. Mean spirited and ignorant, but not outright mean.

Bella shrugged it off. So what if they were apologizing now. It didn't mean anything to leave an anonymous note. Actions were what was needed.

She closed her locker and went to class. She sat at her usual table at lunch, her head buried in a book. When she reached a chapter end she looked up to stretch her neck. As she looked around the cafeteria, she saw Tyler with his gang, Edward sitting at the end of the table. Her eyes swept over the rest of the students. She was shocked when her eyes met Katie's. Katie smiled at her and gave a little wave. Years of politeness made Bella wave back before she frowned and looked back at her book. She didn't know what to make of Katie's actions. They had never really been friends before. She shrugged to herself and waited until it was time to go to the library.

Edward felt like a complete and utter moron. If he weren't in a cafeteria full of high school students, he'd smack his own head. Dumbass.

He had tried to think of a plan, how to get someone outside to notice the treatment Bella endured before it escalated. He stayed up late in the small garage apartment at the Crowley's thinking about Bella, how she coped with her isolation with grace. She didn't complain or cry or whine about it like other girls would. She hadn't even told Alice, her best friend. He thought that girls told their best friends everything.

He guessed that she hadn't told Alice about her crush on him either. If she had, Alice was sure to rail Edward about it. Alice would have been relentless if she had known what Edward had done when Bella revealed her crush. Shit, Alice would have probably told their parents. Edward could just see the lecture he would have gotten from his father about the treatment of women. And the disapproving looks from his mother. She had always like Bella, she had mentioned many times how much she wished Alice would behave more sedately like Bella.

He thought back to when they lived in Forks and what Bella was like then. She was always quiet, calm not loud and bouncy like Alice. She was forever doing favours for Alice, helping her with little things, cleaning up after her. If she was over for dinner she was always the first one to volunteer to do the dishes or help with the cooking. He had never really noticed what a sweet girl she was then.

And now in the cafeteria, having realized what was the easiest way to get the right people to notice Bella plight and despite his feeling incredibly stupid, he smiled to himself. The solution was just so simple. All he needed to change the school's option of Bella was Tyler.

Tyler was Bella's biggest fan. He talked about her sometimes during the drive to and from school. But he never noticed her at lunchtime. Edward finally figured out why. Tyler had become a creature of habit. Routine was one of the ways that helped him cope with his injury. From the first day back to school Tyler had sat in the cafeteria with his back to Bella. He never saw Bella sitting by herself day after day.

All Edward had to do was convince Tyler to change his seat in the cafeteria, to turn around and see Bella at her solitary table. Tyler would take it from there, he hoped. As long as Tyler's temper didn't flare too much he didn't see a problem. Although maybe a good temper tantrum was needed to reach the idiotic students at this school.

Not that Edward was much better than them, he realized. He figured that Bella would be pissed if he went to the principal or a teacher. She wouldn't want the attention. But, maybe if one of her peers did something. Edward wasn't really supposed to get involved with the other students and his hands were tied but Tyler could get involved, and Edward really hoped that he would. God, he was thinking in circles.

This girl had him so confused and acting weird. He didn't like the feeling but he owed her. He wasn't sure what he owed her or if helping her this way would release his debt but it was the only thing he could think of, his only solution.

He'd work with Tyler tonight during OT, change up their routine a little to get Tyler used to some small changes. It would help Tyler learn to cope with uncertainty. After all, life was filled with uncertainty.

**AN: I woke up this morning to a lovely email and an even more lovely write-up from the ficsisters. Now, normally when I wake up and want to cry, it makes for a bad day but today, even finding something dried, crusty, and ancient under my kid's bed made me giggle. Thank you for the warm, fuzzy feelings.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I am in such a good mood I'm posting this early.**

**I own nothing but envy for the Twilight universe.**

Chapter 11

It took a few days before Edward's simple plan started to take effect. He altered some of Tyler's routines to acclimatize him to change. Tyler was accepting of the new routines and agreed to more changes. They first attempted switching cafeteria seats on Monday which gave Tyler a good view of Bella sitting on her own. He didn't mention it to Edward until the third day. Edward's advice was to ask either Bella or another student why she was by herself all the time. Tyler didn't want to approach Bella but considered asking his friends.

Tyler didn't realize that his friends would lie to him, telling him that Bella was unapproachable, that she was stuck-up, cold and thought herself better than everyone else. He thought long and hard about that during reading time. Bella had always been so nice to him. He didn't think she would act that way. Maybe his friends got it wrong. He decided to find out for himself. Perhaps she was one way with him and different with everyone else.

On that Thursday Tyler did something that surprised everyone. A few minutes into lunchtime he picked up his tray and walked over to Bella's table. When he asked her if he could sit with her, her answering smile was so large and bright the whole room just about glowed for him. Edward sat at the end of the table and pretended to play on his phone, leaving Bella and Tyler to their conversation.

They talked of inconsequential things, just chatting. Neither Tyler nor Edward noticed the harsh looks from Tyler's friends. Bella did but she didn't give a rat's ass what they thought. If they tried something with her, she let them have it with her dad in tow. Bella was well aware that she was all fart and no shit but her new attitude made her feel better. She wasn't confrontational but it felt nice to think about it.

When Tyler went to sit with Bella again on Friday, Mike Newton had had quite enough. He had tried to protect Tyler from Bella, knowing that she would cause him more trouble, but Tyler's brain must have been more affected than Mike initially thought because he was there with her again. Mike stood up, making sure that everyone around him knew where he was going and walked over to Bella's table. He put a hand on Tyler's shoulder to get his attention.

Edward noticed Mike walk across the room and waited. He knew Mike was going to make an ass of himself and do something really stupid. Edward really wanted to see that but was worried that Tyler would lose his temper really badly and he might be difficult to control.

"Tyler, man, you can't sit with her," Mike said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I let it go yesterday but no more."

" What are you talking about? I like Bella and I want to talk to her." Tyler shrugged off Mike hand and turned back to Bella. She had a deer in the headlights kind of look on her face.

"Dude, no one likes her and we don't talk to her. Nobody at this school talks to her, that's the rule." Mike rolled his eyes and look at Tyler like he was stupid.

"What are you talking about, Mike, what rule? Who made that up?" Tyler was starting to get angry, but remembered the coping techniques he learned in rehab.

"Shit, look it's her fault, she did this to you. She broke you and turned you into this, this, you know." Edward pushed back his chair but didn't get up. He was waiting to see if Tyler needed his help.

Bella had her head in her hands, elbows on the table, so that no one could see her face.

"Broken? I'm not broken you idiot. There's nothing wrong with me and if there was it would be my fault. The accident was my fault, you asshole. I caused it and I hurt Bella. She stopped me from getting arrested. She's been nothing but nice to me ever since I got back to school. Who the hell are you to blame her? Do you make up that rule? Did you do that to her?" Tyler was losing his cool but still together enough not to need any help. He stood up and looked around the cafeteria at all the other students.

"All of you went along with this? What the hell is wrong with all of you? Are you sheep, just follow blindly with the cool crowd? Jesus, I have a head injury but all of you are the damaged ones. How could you do that to her, to Bella? Damn it, Mike, you are a fucking idiot." Tyler turned back to look at Mike. Mike wasn't even smart enough to look ashamed.

Tyler looked hard at Mike and then came to a realization.

"You never got up the guts to ask her out, did you? It was all you could talk about last year. How much you wanted to go out with Bella, how pretty you thought she was. You're too chicken-shit, aren't you? It's easier to hate her than to ask to date her. I can't believe you used me like that. My injury was just an excuse, wasn't it?"

Mike stared at Tyler, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He blinked a few times and ran out of the cafeteria.

There was complete silence from the entire student body. A few of the girls had tears in their eyes. A couple of guys started to laugh, watching the double doors of the cafeteria swing.

Tyler whirled around and glared at the laughing guys.

"Shut up! None of you are any better. At least Mike had a dumbassed reason, what do you have? You all just went along with what he said. Can't any of you think for yourselves? Come on, Bella, let's get out of here." Bella looked up at Tyler and nodded. She gathered up her stuff and they left the cafeteria together with Edward trailing behind.

**AN: Excrement, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Oscillating Fan. **

**In what is now becoming a tradition, I woke up to phenomenal news again today. My giddy, cheery, ebullient smile is due to TwiFanfictionRecs. I am floored and honoured. Thank you. My Sally Field month turned into a Marissa Tomei moment and I'm going to hold onto my trophy with both hands. I dare Kanye West to mess with me today.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a map to Robert Burns Memorial Park and a strong aversion to haggis. See below.**

Chapter 12

They sat in the library, not reading, just thinking. Tyler was mad. Bella was incredulous. Edward was smug.

Tyler got to his feet and started pacing back and forth behind the table. He was trying to gather his thoughts. He couldn't believe that his friends would do that to some one. And in his name too. That made it worse. He never wanted some one to be punished for his actions. What happened to him was punishment enough and he would have to live with it for the rest of his life. But to hurt an innocent bystander, a good person like Bella, for his idiocy really pissed him off. He also did not understand why Bella took it. Why wouldn't she say something or do something when they started to treat her badly?

"Why didn't you say something, Bella? Why did you let them treat you like that?" Tyler didn't stop his pacing, he just asked his questions and kept moving.

Bella sighed, it was an easy question to answer but hard for her at the same time. It made her feel weak, like she couldn't take it, and she could take it, she had for months. She didn't need or want a champion to help her, but Tyler became her champion. She didn't want him, or anyone outside of school to know. To know that it hurt her feelings and her pride to be ignored by her peers even though her peers were idiots.

"What could anyone do? You can't force someone to talk to you if they don't want to. It wasn't as if I had lots of friends before the accident, so I didn't really miss out on much. How would I prove that the student body was ignoring me? It's not like I went out of my way to fit in either. I'm not the kind of person to get in someone's face and say notice me. No one did anything to me physically, they just didn't talk to me. There also wasn't anyone here that I really wanted to talk to anyway. I liked reading with you but we didn't chat in the halls or anything." Bella got up and stood in Tyler's path

"Thank you for defending me. You didn't have to do that. I hope we can still get together every day to read. I also hope you didn't lose any of your friends because of me. They are good friends to you, they were hurt and scared that you were injured. Most of them did what they did as a way of supporting you. It was completely the wrong way but when do kids our age ever really think things through enough to do things the right way? What they did was stupid, thoughtless and cruel but they did it because they love you. For the rest I'm sure it was just peer pressure. I can forgive them for what they did to me because it was for you. Can you do that? Do you think you can forgive them and let things go back to normal?"

"I don't know." Tyler would have to think about that for a long time.

"Just try, okay? So look, after all that, I need a couple of minutes in the girls room. Would you wait here for me and I'll be back in a bit?"

Tyler nodded and Bella reached up, gave him a hug and a little kiss on the cheek.

Bella quickly walked out of the library and as soon as she was out of sight she ran to the nearest bathroom. Thankful that it was empty she locked herself in a stall and sat on the closed toilet. She held her head in her hands and tried to calm down. There were too many things to think about, she'd have to prioritize them to think about later. Her father was working a night shift and she wasn't working tonight so she would have lots of time at home alone to work through everything. She scrubbed her hands over her face and tilted her head back. She just sat for a minute in the quiet bathroom and collected herself. She got up and washed her hands out of habit. She avoided the mirror and walked slowly back to the library.

While Bella was gone, Edward took the opportunity to commend Tyler for keeping his temper in check. Edward was really proud of the way Tyler conducted himself, shocked by the revelation about Mike and his crush on Bella, and still smug that he had orchestrated the whole thing. All in all he felt it was a good days work.

When Bella returned to the library, picked up The Goblet of Fire and started reading like nothing had happened, Edward took it as his cue to get out of there. He walked out to his car and drove to the diner for lunch. As he ate he thought of what Bella had said, about the obvious maturity and poise she had. He could almost understand where she was coming from but still she confounded him. She was just a kid, like his sister, she was acting more mature than anyone her age should. If he was honest with himself, she was acting more mature than he had been acting for the past few years. He owed her an apology.

So, he made a promise to himself that after work he would go to her house and apologize, clear the air between them and ease his conscious. He paid his bill and started to walk back to his car. As he neared his parking spot he noticed a florist. Perfect! He'd bring her some flowers to soften her up, girls liked flowers. He ducked into the shop and emerged a few minutes later with a small bouquet. It was one of their pre-made bunches of flowers with lots of variegated carnations and baby's breath. They didn't have a lot to choose from and he hoped that she liked pink. He laid the bouquet on the passenger seat of his car and headed back to the school, very pleased with himself.

**AN:** **But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,**

**In proving foresight may be vain:**

**The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men**

**Gang aft agley,**  
**An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,**  
**For promis'd joy!**

**Part of Robert Burns **"**To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough". **

**I dare you not to speak with an accent for ten minutes after reading it.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I think this chapter is what most of you have been waiting for. I couldn't wait 'til tomorrow to post.**

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a fabulous collection of used catnip toys and some slightly stoned cats, dude.**

Chapter 13

Bella sat in her living room staring at the television. She had turned it on after school but had no idea what was on. Probably some sports channel her dad had left on. All she could do was think. She thought how angry Tyler had been. The look of horror on Mike's face just before he ran off, his secret revealed. Poor Mike. Was it really the only solution for him to ostracise her rather than just ask her out? Misguided twit. She never would have dated him but she would have let him down gently. She would have been much nicer to him than he had been to her.

Hopefully the weekend would give everyone time to think and they could all start fresh on Monday. Bella wasn't sure what she wanted from the school population. Tyler had laid into them fairly well. She was sure there would be some who would try to make themselves feel better by being nice to her. She didn't know how to feel about that. Should she let them assuage their guilt and put up with it? Or should she let them have it? None of them were innocent in this. Bella herself just accepted the situation and did nothing to try to stop it.

She didn't want to be petty and treat them like they treated her. While it was nice to fantasize about making them grovel, it just wasn't in her nature. She couldn't bring herself to be vindictive. She decided to let them apologize, if that's what they wanted to do, and then carry on as before.

Bella reminded herself to be a bit more wary of her classmates. The asskissers and the sycophants would line up to see who would be first to befriend her. The next few weeks would be agony. She'd be the centre of attention, the last thing she wanted to be. Oh well, at least the week after next was Thanksgiving which made for a shorter week.

Bella was just starting to think about what to make for dinner when the doorbell rang. She got up hoping it was some Girl Scouts. Today, of all days, she really needed cookies. But as long as it wasn't some one selling religion she'd be happy. At least that's what she thought until she opened the door.

"What do you want, Edward?" She couldn't believe he was here at her house. She really would rather he'd been a chipper girl scout.

Edward smiled at her.

"I'd like to talk to you, Bella. Can I come in?" He looked at her expectantly.

"Sure, I guess." Shock led her to politeness as she moved aside to let him in. He walked into the living room and looked at the television.

"Watching a game?" He asked her, amused.

"Umm, yeah, just waiting for the half-time show."

"Bella, that's not football, that's Cricket. There is no half-time show." He tried really hard not to laugh at her.

"Really? Shit." She bent down to grab the remote and turned off the set.

"So, umm, what do you want?" She waited for him to get to the point and leave. Her day had been hard enough without adding Edward into the mix.

"Oh, I wanted to see how you were after today and I brought you something." He held out the bouquet.

"You brought me flowers? Why?" She took the flowers from him and looked at them. They were the cheesiest bunch of flower she had ever seen. They looked like they had come from a gas station. They smelled like they had come from a gas station.

"Well, today was hard on Tyler so I can just imagine what it was like for you. I wanted to make sure you were okay." He looked at her, waiting for her to thank him for his concern and to relieve him of some of his guilt over the way he had treated her.

She just blinked at him. Was he for real? What the hell did he care that today was difficult for her? He never gave a rat's ass about her before. In fact he had been a jackass to her many times over.

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking and thanks for the flowers." She moved past him to open the door so he could leave.

He reached out a grabbed her elbow to stop her from leaving the room. Bella stopped suddenly. She looked at him and then at her arm. He let her go almost as quickly as he had grabbed her. He held up his hands.

"If you're sure then. I hope everything is better for you at school now." He had hoped to stay and talk to her more but she didn't seem in a chatty mood. She looked at his face for a moment then narrowed her eyes at him. That smug look was back, the one he had in the library this afternoon.

"You asshole." She shouted at him, raising the bouquet of flowers up and beating him with them.

"You jerk, you smug shithead. You did it on purpose, didn't you. You manipulated Tyler so that he could see what was going on at school. You let him do all the dirty work cause you read that note and felt sorry for me." She had added it all up. After two months of sitting in the same seat in the cafeteria and a few days after finding out Bella's torment someone comes riding in on a white horse to rescue her. But he didn't do it himself, no, he hid behind someone else. He hid behind the kid he was supposed to be looking after. He used Tyler to assuage his own guilt.

"How could you do that to him? You made him yell at his friends. You have no idea what could happen now. You fucking idiot. What if they start bullying him? What if they start in on poor dumb Mike? Did you even think of what you were doing? Why did you do that? You could have just left well enough alone. I don't need you to fight my battles for me. Who the hell do you think you are?" She punctuated every other sentence with a smack of her floral weapon. Petals and tiny baby's breath flowers were showered all over her living room.

"Stop hitting me! Shit, I did it for you. I'm not supposed to get involved with the students, not supposed to interfere unless it has something to do with Tyler. I just...I just couldn't let them ignore you any longer. It's not fair." He didn't think that he had used Tyler, had he?

**AN: Edward is very thankful that carnations do not have thorns.**

**I have been totally remiss in replying to reviews. I appreciate every one of them and each person who takes the time to leave one for me. I'm sorry I am being lazy, let's call it winter hibernation. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me.**

**sbc**


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter is twice as long because I couldn't find a good place to stop. It is two days early because I couldn't wait. See you again Tuesday.**

**I don't own Twilight, I do own a bag of freeze dried turkey cat treats with multiple fang marks puncturing it.**

Chapter 14

Bella just stared at Edward. He really had no clue, did he? She turned around and sat on the couch.

Edward didn't know what to do. Should he leave or what? He had made a mess of things. He didn't want her to find out that he orchestrated everything that happened at school. But he had thought that if she found out she'd be more accepting of his help. He figured he'd get a hug or maybe a kiss on the cheek like she gave Tyler. He didn't think she'd beat him with a bunch of flowers. His jacket was covered in little bits of foliage and there was pollen in his hair.

He had been struck with the realization that Bella was quite beautiful in her anger. When he wasn't protecting his head he had noticed how her long hair whipped around her face, the bright spots of colour on her cheeks and the gleam of rage in her eyes. Why had he thought her cute when she was clearly glorious when angry? Like a superhero meting out justice or an avenging angel. She just needed a skin tight costume to complete the picture. He shook his head, this was not a path his thoughts should be following. But there was something about an enraged woman, this woman, that really appealed to him.

"Just sit down, Edward." Bella said defeated as he stood there like a mannequin. Even covered in flower detritus he was too handsome, standing there looking like a chastised little boy, naughty but repentant. He slowly walked over to the couch and took a seat on it as far away from Bella as possible.

"Why do it that way? Why get Tyler involved? Did you even think of the ramifications for him? I just don't understand, Edward." She was so confused. What she really didn't understand was why he even cared. They weren't friends, even when she made the effort, he refused her. What had changed for him to do this and in that way?

"I noticed that you were always alone and I asked a few students about it. I just couldn't let them ignore you any longer. Not for such a stupid reason. It wasn't fair. I probably should have gone about it a different way but... And I didn't think that anything would happen to Tyler. He has too much support for that. He has me for that, to make sure no one bullies him or treats him badly." Edward paused for a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Some one needed to stand up for you. Tyler seemed like the best person. After I read that note I wondered if it was going to escalate, if whoever wrote that note would try something meaner than just a note." He couldn't think of anything else.

"I didn't need your help. I didn't ask for it. And really, you are the last person I need to worry about me. I mean, you've been ignoring me for the better part of four years. Over a stupid note, too. Can you see the irony of that?" Bella chanced a look at him. He sat stooped over, his head hanging down, and his hands gripping his legs so tight his knuckles were white.

"I knew what they were doing, Edward. I'm not stupid. That note just solidified the reason. But, to be honest, I really didn't care. It's no skin off my nose to be treated badly. I don't care what others think of me. While I may have been lonely at times it wasn't new to me. I coped and survived long before you turned up, and I would have continued to survive if you hadn't stepped in." Bella sighed, she knew his heart was in the right place and as much as she loathed to do if after the way he treated her, she knew she would have to thank him for trying.

It was a fine kettle of fish they were in now. Edward Cullen coming to her rescue. Tyler the prankster standing up for her against all his friends. Mike Newton, the idea of his interest in her made her want to shower, too scared of her to take action. What was next? What cosmic joke was up to bat? Was someone going to invite her to a dance and pour pig's blood on her now? Her staid, boring life was becoming surreal. Bella wanted a rewind. To go back to the day before and let her life be normal.

"Thank you for what you did. Even if I don't agree with your method I do appreciate the gesture. I don't understand why you did it though. I mean, why you, of all people, should care that I'm being ignored. We are not exactly friends, Edward. I mean, well, I don't know what I really mean, so I'm just going to say thank you." Bella didn't want to get into more of a discussion with him about how he treated her. While she didn't care about the kids at school, her past history with Edward made what he did so much worse than what the kids at school did. He had hurt her more than they did.

Bella stood up hoping that Edward would get the point and leave. She had had enough. She just wanted to make dinner, go to bed and with any luck get over the events of the day before Monday arrived.

The idea of having to go to school and face all those other kids terrified her. It wasn't going to be pleasant. They were going to stare at her and talk about her. She didn't want to live out the rest of the school year under their constant scrutiny. The less than sincere ones would probably try to ingratiate themselves with her, fawning over her until they made their guilt go away. She would have to put up with it until they found something else to entertain themselves.

"Wait. Bella, I'm sorry." Edward didn't want to leave this conversation so unfinished. He stood up and followed her over to the door.

"I know you're sorry. Its not like this will even happen again, so don't worry. I won't tell anyone your part in this. Tyler can go on being the hero and hopefully, everything will be back to normal soon." Bella put her hand on the doorknob and opened the door.

Edward stood just behind her looking at the open door. He knew he should leave but it just felt unfinished. There was still a lot on his mind and he didn't want to leave this way.

"Could we try?" Edward asked as Bella looked up at him.

"Try? Try what?"

"To be friends." He could do that, he could offer her friendship as part of his atonement. Although the idea of just being friends was unsatisfying. He was starting to want something more.

"Friends? No, I don't think we can be friends, Edward. We can be friendly but not friends."

"Why not?" He didn't understand why she didn't want to be friends with him. She was friends with his little sister, she used to have a crush on him, and she had almost no friends at school, surely Bella, of all people, needed all the friends she could get.

Bella reached up one hand and plucked a flower petal out of his hair.

"This is why we can't be friends, Edward." Bella squeezed her eyes shut tightly for a second to stop the prick of tears. Edward just stood there, confused.

"Alice went through a huge floral phase when she started dating Jasper, did you know that? We memorized the meanings behind different flowers. Do you know what pink variegated flowers mean, Edward?" He shook his head. He had no clue where this was going.

"Refusal or rejection. I know you have no idea but I think subconsciously it means something. Every time I tried to be friends with you, you've rejected me. There is only some much one can take before it's too much, Edward. I think I've reached that point. So, thank you. I'll see you at school on Monday for your lunch break. Good night, Edward." Bella dropped the flower petal to the floor to join the others. She smiled at Edward, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, just like she did with Tyler. Except this time with Edward, she was saying goodbye with her thank you. Goodbye to the boy who had broken her heart. Goodbye to the possibility of anything more with him.

Edward was feeling very uneasy. He felt dismissed and he didn't really know why. Why would she want to get rid of him now that he was just starting to see her in a different light? Of course she would have no idea that his emotions were changing. But he didn't know what they were changing to. He just knew that he didn't want to end things with her, not before they even had a chance to start. Maybe there could never be anything between them but friendship. Maybe his new found interest in her was just hormones and being away from all the pretty girls on the college campus. But right now Edward did not want to let her walk away from him. She had said she loved him once, maybe he could make her remember how she had felt before. Maybe he could make her see him differently too. He did the only thing he could think of. He snaked his arms around her waist as she started to pull back from him, holding her close to his body. He slid one hand up until it was at the back of her neck under her hair and kissed her. Not on the cheek like she had done but full on the lips with intent. He kissed her hard so that she would know he meant it.

He held on to her tightly, not letting her get away. Not that she was trying to, she was stiff, her muscles locked. He tried to coax a response out of her by moving the fingers that held the back of her neck, trying to massage the stiffness out of her. He kissed her over and over again, moving his lips against hers, not daring to introduce his tongue yet but really wanting to. For him this kiss was solidifying his want. He wanted her to kiss him back, he wanted her to want him. He wanted to slip her his tongue and feel more of her. He just plain wanted.

Bella was shocked. What the fuck was he doing? Why the hell was he kissing her? She was trying to let him go and he was kissing her? It was a hell of a kiss too. She could feel it in her toes. She could feel it everywhere. This was not good, she was letting go and he was hanging on. But she was enjoying this so much more than she should. It felt good to have him kiss her, to have him want her. It was like a vindication of her previous feelings. But it was too little too late for her. She didn't want to kiss him back, to start to hope or give him hope.

She moved her hands from his back around to his shoulders and gave him a push. He released her from his grip but not from his kiss. She backed away from him.

"You really shouldn't have done that, Edward. It doesn't change anything. Go home. I'll see you Monday." She pushed him out the door before he could realize what was going on. She shut the door behind him and locked it. She ran into the kitchen and flung herself into her chair. She didn't know what to think, which thoughts to let in first.

Edward just stood on Bella's porch, not understanding how the hell he got there. One minute he was kissing a pretty girl the next he was freezing his ass off on the porch.

**AN: ?**


	15. Chapter 15

**It is Tuesday in this story. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.**

**I really, really don't own Twilight. I have a bid in for brunch though, that's a good time of day.**

Chapter 15

The thoughts fighting an epic battle in Bella's head had not come to a treaty over the course of the weekend. There was no cease fire, no peace talks, and definitely no white flag waving in the distance. She woke up Monday morning seven minutes before the alarm went off. Everything else in her morning routine went smoothly. That in itself was a little frightening for Bella. If everything went well at home did that mean that school was going to be hell. Well, more hellish than usual.

Charlie came down the stairs on time, appetite in hand and ready for breakfast. He had waited all weekend for Bella to come to him and tell him what had been happening at school. The story of Tyler's tirade and Mike's outing had made it's way to the police station by mid afternoon. Charlie had called the Principal and after a long discussion where the words 'get your head out of your ass a pay attention to all the students, not just the troublemakers and shining stars" never once left Charlie's mouth but ran through his head, they came to a mutual decision. The decision being that the Principal would do exactly what Charlie suggested to the letter and let Bella deal with the situation on her own. Charlie knew his daughter and if the school made a big deal out of this she would not be pleased. He also knew that his daughter was smarter than the Principal a few minutes into the conversation, although he didn't not directly inform the man of this, it was implied. As to the Principal's parentage there was no implication, just conjecture as to their familial relationship.

Charlie knew his daughter could handle anything her classmates gave her. He knew if she needed him she'd come to him. Maybe he just had to wait a little longer. After breakfast he put down his coffee cup and caught his daughter's eye.

"Have a good day, Kid."

By the way he looked at her, she knew he had heard about school. She gave him the same look back. All was right in the Swan house. Bella knew her dad had her back and Charlie knew his daughter had her head screwed on right. Charlie also knew that Mike Newton's driving record was in for a beating, but somehow, he forgot to let his daughter know that little tidbit. Charlie got up and headed to work.

Bella sat in her truck and waited until it was time to go. Today was going to be an all new kind of hell and Bella wasn't sure she was ready for it. Turning the key in the ignition and hearing the roar of the engine calmed her. Arriving at school ruined that calm. The usual people were milling about the parking lot, the looky-loos, the surreptitious smokers and the ever reluctant students. Bella got out of her truck and walked to the door. She could hear the whispers, she could feel their stares but she just soldiered on to her locker to get her stuff for class. A couple of notes fell to the floor when she opened her locker. She stuffed them in her bag for later, they should be good for a laugh.

Bella changed nothing about her routine, she walked to class with her head down as usual, not out of shame but the desire not to engage in meaningless conversation. She sat at her regular desk and read her notes until the teacher started lessons. Most people left her alone, not knowing how to approach her.

Lunch was the big challenge. When she walked into the cafeteria, she nearly walked right back out again. Everyone looked at her when she walked in. Most had expressions on their faces like puppies who have just been caught peeing on the hall rug. A couple still had foul looks for Bella, those actually comforted her, they were a continuation of regular routine.

Bella hefted a sigh and walked to her table, sat down, and pulled out her book. A nice grisly Patricia Cornwell mystery to lose herself in, something about dismembered bodies and gore.

Tyler and Edward walked into the cafeteria late. They had had a meeting with Tyler's math teacher. Tyler surveyed the room trying to decide where to sit. Would it be better to sit with Bella or sit with his other friends? Bella wanted everything to go back to normal, for him to forgive his friends and spend time with them. He made sure everyone could see him as he walked by Bella's table. His voice was louder than ever as he greeted her. She looked up at him and smiled. She watched as he walked to his usual table and sat with his friends.

Bella was so happy that Tyler took her words to heart. He did just what she wanted him to do. She caught Edward's eye. She froze looking at him. What would he want from her now? He just nodded hello. Bella returned the gesture and resumed her reading. Friendly but not friends. Maybe this day wouldn't be hell after all.

Just before the bell rang, Bella looked up one more time before getting her stuff and heading to the library. Again she caught Katie looking at her. Katie did not have the naughty puppy look that everyone else seemed to have. Bella waved at her first. Katie beamed and returned the wave. Bella wasn't ready to have Katie paint her nails or braid her hair but a simple smile and a wave made both of them feel better.

When Bella got to her locker before reading time another note fell out. She tucked it into her bag with the others. She would read them after school. She had no time for this shit now. Tyler, her only school friend, was waiting. Bella smiled to her self. She had a great idea how to show Tyler her appreciation. She jogged to the library to meet him.

**AN: Charlie Swan, kicking asses since 2005.**


	16. Chapter 16

**The idea of me owning Twilight is laughable.**

Chapter 16

Bella waited until after Edward had gone to lunch to spring her idea on Tyler. They were just finishing The Goblet of Fire and were due to start The Order of the Phoenix soon. It would be a perfect time to take a break.

Bella's grand idea was a movie marathon. Thanksgiving was next week, there was no school on Friday and no where to shop in town. Not that Bella wanted to go shopping. Charlie went on an annual fishing trip the day after Thanksgiving and Bella would be alone for the rest of the weekend.

Tyler was more than game to join but he had to ask his parent's permission. There were several Aunts, Uncles and Cousins scheduled to arrive at his house for the holiday. Tyler was the oldest by several years and did not like the idea of watching cartoons all weekend. He called his dad on his lunch break and was quite happy that his dad agreed. There was little actual reading done that afternoon but lots of planning for the fun day that was to come. After comparing Thanksgiving menus and the acknowledgement that Mrs. Crowley is a lousy cook it was decided that Bella's leftovers would be better than Tyler's. Tyler agreed to bring the movies and an appetite. Bella was very happy because there was always too many leftovers and after a few days she was sick and tired of turkey.

As soon as school was over Bella got in touch with Alice for the second part of her grand idea. Alice was more than happy to grant Bella's favour because it was something in which she could include Jasper. Also because Bella never, ever asked for anything. Alice was ecstatic for the chance to do something for her friend. Bella mailed Alice a check and made note to pick up an extra shift or two at Newton's soon.

Bella settled in to do her homework. As she was pulling her books from her bag one of the notes fell out and on to the floor. She reached in her bag and grabbed the others deciding that reading them would be a laugh before the boredom of homework.

The first note was unsigned and just said "I'm sorry." The next note was signed by a girl who hung out with Katie.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm sorry for treating you badly. It was a really stupid thing to do and I didn't think about your feelings when I started doing it. It was really brave of you to come to school day after day when everyone was so mean to you. I really admire that about you. I know I should approach you in person but I'm afraid and it seemed easier to write a note. I hope that maybe we could be friends one day. When Edward Cullen pointed out to Katie how awful we had been we all felt really bad and I know Katie has been trying to make it up to you. She talked to everyone she hangs out with and we all agreed. And then after when Tyler yelled at everyone else, well, it made me want to get in touch with you. I don't know if that means anything to you or if we are too late but we would really like it if you'd come sit with us at lunch one day. If you want, that is._

_See you at school,_

_Jane_

Bella read the note over twice. It was nice. It made her feel a little less lonely. Katie was nice and she had tried to be more friendly to her before Tyler let the school have it. Maybe Bella could trust the sincerity of these girls. However she did wonder what Edward had to do with it. Why had he been talking to Katie about her? And when had he done that?

As much as she didn't want to she kept thinking about Edward. About kissing Edward. About beating Edward with his stupid flowers. She really needed to apologize to him about that. It had taken her all that evening to get the remains of the bouquet out of the carpet. The house smelled like carnations for almost all weekend.

Bella turned her attention to the last note in the bunch. This one was not simply a folded piece of paper like the others. This one was in a small envelope, her name typed on the front. It looked like a invitation. The letter inside was also typewritten.

**I see you.**

** I should have seen you before but I was clouded by my ignorance.**

** I see a person with a softness that belies her strength. **

**I see a person of beauty to whom beauty had no importance.**

** I see a person of grace who forgives the coarseness of others.**

** I see you.**

** I want you to see me.**

** But I'm not ready yet.**

** I have to earn it.**

** Your Secret Admirer.**

Bella read the note and searched the envelope for any clues. There was nothing. She tossed the note on to her bed. Of all the cruel bullshit she had gone through in the past few years this was the worst. Was she really supposed to believe that someone liked her, that someone saw her for who she was? What utter crap.

She had spent the last year of her school life being the whipping girl for the school population. They blamed her and now that someone had told them to pull their heads out of their asses she was supposed to believe she had a genuine admirer. A secret admirer. This was just another sick game to the troglodytes with whom she spent her day.

She had to give them credit though. It was well written for a prank. She could just see them plotting, thesaurus in hand, sounding out the words to make up this shit. Gee, how can we torture Swan today? Let's write her a note, make her think someone likes her and then we will….what? What could they do to her now? What fresh hell did they have planned?

Bella lay back on her bed and stared at her ceiling. What if it wasn't a prank? What if someone did actually like her? It was a big leap to that what if. Bella didn't know if she had the energy for a leap of that size.

**AN: If you were Bella what would you believe? I think she has earned the right to be a bit jaded.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I don't own Twilight but I do own a new passport which means that I will not be updating for just over a week as of Friday. First vacation in thirteen years that does not include my mother or mother-in-law. I will post again as soon as I can. But I will post a few extra chapters as penance for leaving.**

Chapter 17

Bella woke feeling on edge. Before she knew what every day would consist of. She knew exactly how the school day would go but now, she had no idea. What did they have planned for her today. More notes? Or something sinister? Would they go back to ignoring her or demand her attention?

For all her worry the day was uneventful. Sure the other kids stared at her. The nicer ones smiled. Jane and Katie said hi and asked after her. No one got in her face, no one left her notes, and no one glared at her. It was beginning to improve slowly but Bella couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen. That something major was coming and she was standing in the way.

On Wednesday, there was another note.

**I see you. **

**I'm sorry I didn't see you before. **

**I wish I could go back and be a better person. **

**A person who could deserve a friend like you. **

**Your Secret Admirer.**

These notes were starting to confused her. What did they mean? The note, type written again, gave no indication of gender.

On Thursday, Bella joined Katie, Jane and their friends at lunch. It was stiff and awkward at first, Bella was out of practice in small talk. Eventually the tension got to be too much and Bella burst into giggles. The furtive looks and tentative smiles were all getting to be too much. Bella felt like the shiny new toy in the toy box. When she explained this feeling to the other girls at the table they joined her in her laughter.

That evening at work Edward and Tyler came into Newton's for Edward to buy a birthday gift for his father. Bella had never thought Dr. Cullen to be the outdoorsy type but showed Edward and Tyler around the store, pointing out things that she felt might be appropriate. Tyler was quite interested in her work there and asked a lot of questions. Edward just watched them interact with a slight smile on his face. They ended up staying for an hour and a half, making Bella work day go by faster. It was one of the easiest interactions she had ever had with Edward. Tyler, well, Tyler was just fun to have around.

Friday rounded out the week nicely. Jane and Katie joined Bella at her table first followed by Tyler and Edward tagging along. Katie produced a deck of cards and lunch was over before anyone was ready. For a change in pace, Tyler read to Bella in the library. She had managed to get her hands of a copy of Fantastic Beasts and they had a great time laughing at the annotations put in by 'Harry and Ron'.

Bella was very happy to find a large package from Alice at her door when she came home from school. She tore into it with very uncharacteristic squeals of delight. It was everything she had asked for and much, much more. There was a note inside from Alice.

_Dear Bella,_

_So, I went a little overboard. Jasper and I had a blast finding all this stuff. Some of it made Jasper a little sick but he is better now, big baby. Some where at the bottom of the box is that stupid cheque you sent me. If you think I'm letting you pay for this, you are out of your mind. Send me details when it's over. _

_Miss you,_

_Alice_

Bella was quite put out with Alice not letting her pay for this project. She decided to get her back another way, later. She carted the box upstairs to hide in her closet. She knew that if Charlie found it there would be hell to pay.

The weekend flew by with lots of list making and as much Thanksgiving prep as Bella could do. Charlie teased Bella relentlessly about her menu planning. When she threatened him with the loss of his favourite turkey, he left her alone. When she further threatened him with having to clean his own fish after his annual trip, he agreed to any cleaning project she asked for.

Monday came too soon but brought with it yet another note. Well, not really a note, but a poem.

**The Song of Wandering Aengus**

I went out to the hazel wood,

Because a fire was in my head,

And cut and peeled a hazel wand,

And hooked a berry to a thread;

And when white moths were on the wing,

And moth-like stars were flickering out,

I dropped the berry in a stream

And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor

I went to blow the fire aflame,

But something rustled on the floor,

And some one called me by my name:

It had become a glimmering girl

With apple blossom in her hair

Who called me by my name and ran

And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering

Through hollow lands and hilly lands,

I will find out where she has gone,

And kiss her lips and take her hands;

And walk among long dappled grass,

And pluck till time and times are done

The silver apples of the moon,

The golden apples of the sun.

_William Butler Yeats_

**He can say it better than I can.**

**Your Secret Admirer.**

Bella was becoming intrigued by this 'secret admirer'. While Yeats was not necessarily one of her favourites, the images and sentiment behind the poem left a little tingle at the back of her neck. Was someone searching for her? It seemed a little too far to go for just a prank. She would have to wait and see.

At least it wasn't a clichéd love poem, it was a poem that made her think, made her wonder as to the meaning. She folded the note and slipped it in her bag. She had a long week ahead of her so she decided to think about this admirer later, much later. She giggled quietly, calling herself Scarlet O'Hara in her head.

**AN: It kind of feels like cheating to use someone else's poem but I don't have the mental capacity to write my own.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I forgot to tell you that vacation doesn't start until Friday. So, today I'll give you two chapters and then I'll bugger off.**

**I don't own Twilight or anything licensed that is mentioned in the chapter below. I do own an intense craving for chocolate, though.**

Chapter 18

Bella did not receive anything in her locker for the remainder of the short week. A few brave souls approached her in the halls to say hi, but nothing written was left for her. She slept a little easier and had a little extra pep in her step.

Thanksgiving dinner went off without a hitch, although in Bella's opinion the gravy was too thin. Charlie didn't care, there was food, lots of food. It was hot, tasty and well prepared. He barely had to lift a finger until it was time to do the dishes. Bella packed a large cooler for him to take on his fishing trip and he slept like the dead until his alarm went off at five in the morning the next day.

Bella woke too early excited for the day to come. She toted Alice's box down the stairs and got set up in the living room awaiting Tyler's arrival. She prepped lunch as much as she could and was quite distracted when Tyler knocked on the door. She flung it open with a big smile on her face.

The smile slipped at little when she saw that Edward had accompanied Tyler on their movie day.

"I hope you don't mind that I invited Edward." Tyler asked. Bella had to think about that for a second.

"I drove back last night. Dad had to work today and I didn't want to shop with Alice and my Mom." Edward had a sheepish grin on his face.

"No, of course not. Please come in. Make yourselves at home." Bella played good hostess. There was no reason not to include Edward, she had more than enough supplies and leftovers. Tyler and Edward seemed to have a friendship above and beyond their working relationship and Bella didn't want to stand in anyone's way just because she was slightly uncomfortable. Oh well, they would still have fun.

As Tyler walked into the living room, Edward put on hand on Bella's shoulder to stop her from following him. She looked up at him with many questions in her eyes.

"Thank you for letting me tag along. I know this is your thing with Tyler but I've heard so much about this Harry Potter stuff from him, I couldn't resist. I'll go if you want me to but if you let me stay, I promise to be on my best behaviour." The look on his face was so sincere, his tone so gentle that all Bella could do was stare at him. When he wasn't glaring at her he really was very handsome. She could see glimpses of the boy she had loved before.

"Come on, Edward. We've got movies to watch. Prepare to be schooled in all things Hogwarts." She winked at him and walk into the living room.

Tyler stood in the middle of the room, stock still, and eyes bugged out. On the coffee table there were bowls and packages of every kind of candy from the book series that Alice could find in Seattle. There were Chocolate Frogs and Jelly Slugs in and around piles of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. Alice had taken the task and run with it. She found Sugar Quills and Sherbet Lemon drops. She had put together bags of other candies and labelled them like in the books. Cockroach Clusters, Acid Pops, and Fizzing Whisbees. Even if she had to hold back Jasper's hair when he puked after trying everything, Alice had had the best time putting this box together for her friend.

"Holy crap! Were did you get all this stuff? This is so cool!" Tyler sounded like a little boy at Christmas. Just the look on his face made Bella laugh.

"My friend Alice cleaned out Seattle and sent it to me for today. She's Edward's sister." Bella looked over at Edward, who seemed confused by Tyler's reaction.

"They are candies that are mentioned in the books and movies. It's part of our marathon, today. I have real food too but I thought that this would be more fun than popcorn and M&amp;M's." Bella explained to Edward. Edward did not have a big sweet tooth but was game to try.

"Hey man, look at this, it's so cool." Tyler dragged Edward into the room to examine the goodies. Bella went into the kitchen to put on another pot of coffee, just in case.

They sampled their way through the first three movies. Bella had separated several boxes of the jelly beans into different flavours. They made Edward try them all first to see what they were like. After the vomit flavoured one he refused to be the guinea pig any more, so they took turns. Tyler really liked the black pepper one and Bella was more than happy to let him have all of the rest of them to his self.

Lunch, a few cleansing glasses of water later and part way through the forth movie, Edward fell asleep in a part tired, part turkey and candy coma. Bella covered him in a blanket and left him in her father's chair. She and Tyler lowered the volume but continued to watch Harry struggle and triumph.

Edward woke up a few hours later to discover that he was alone in Bella's living room with the television off. He stretched and noticed the blanket that was covering him. He was touched by Bella's kindness. Not only had she allowed him to stay and horn in on her special day with Tyler but she had been extraordinarily kind and inclusive to him as well. He heard quiet voices in the kitchen and got up to find the others. Just outside the kitchen door he heard parts of a conversation that stopped him in his tracks. He waited in the hallway listening to every word.

**AN: I love Bertie Bott's. Or almost any flavour of Jelly Belly beans. I love watching my kid convincing himself to try them. I don't love cleaning up the sticky half beans when he finds ones he doesn't like. If he won't eat spinach for dinner what makes him think that he'd like it in jelly bean format?**

**'Patriotic rant...Smarties are much better than M&amp;M's! And I still sometimes eat the red ones last and sing the jingle. American Smarties are Rockets (pressed candy powder pellets), Canadian Smarties are candy coated chocolate. I'm fairly certain we stole all of these candies from the UK.'**


	19. Chapter 19

**I don't own Twilight. I do own airline tickets for a 6 am international flight. I'll miss you all but there will be rum so I won't remember.**

Chapter 19

After Bella and Tyler finished watching The Order of the Phoenix they needed a little mental break. Edward was asleep in Charlie's chair not snoring but making little put-put noises. The noise was slightly distracting and took away from the seriousness of the film's ending.

Tyler was learning how to cook with Bella. She was teaching him how to make a turkey potpie, Charlie's favourite after thanksgiving meal. Bella liked making it because it made short work of a lot of leftovers. Tyler liked it because there was bacon involved. They chatted about their favourite parts of all the films they had seen and which parts they were looking forward to in the last three.

Tyler had been teasing Bella about her preference for character development over action scenes. He accused her of being too girly and liking the romance elements of the last movie they had watched. They joked about the difficulties dating led to. Tyler, after a few minutes of silence, admitted that there was a girl at school he was interested in but was unable to approach her. He worried that because of his brain injury, the girl he liked wouldn't take him seriously. He asked for a female perspective.

"First of all, your brain injury is what you have, not who you are and if a girl doesn't take you seriously because of that, then she's not worth it. But if she is worth it, sometimes you just have to lay it on the line and open yourself up even if it means getting hurt. You have to find a way to let her know you are interested and serious. Even if she breaks your heart. Each time you let yourself go, you learn more about yourself. You never know what can be, or what another person thinks of you unless you take the chance. Very few of us are mind-readers, you know"

"Have you ever done that? Told someone how you felt about them like that?" Tyler didn't think shy, quiet little Bella would be capable of doing that. He expected a more girly answer, for him to be more subtle.

"Yeah, once. Scared the shit out of me but I did it. I was fourteen and thought I was in love. It took me six months but I let him know how I felt. I wrote him a letter but I don't think he really read it. It's funny, I wasn't looking for romance and I didn't expect a boyfriend or an instant proposal, I just wanted him to know how I felt. I wasn't asking him to love me back or anything, in fact I would have been shocked if he did feel that way about me. It was more about admiration than adoration. I felt better after having done it. More free, you know? Like a weight had been lifted from me."

"So, what happened? Did you get together?"

"No. He stopped talking to me and avoided me at all costs. I mean, I knew I was too young and not his type or anything but I just had to let him know. And I did. I learned from it, too. Not the nicest life lesson but you never know unless you try."

Edward stood in the hallway, listening and wanting to bang his head against the wall over and over again. He had been such an idiot. He never thought about what it took for Bella to write him that letter. He never really thought about her feelings at all. Just about how uncomfortable the letter made him. He really should have read it all, not just skimmed it.

"So I should just man up and do something?" Tyler was asking Bella as she continued chopping vegetables.

"If you want to know if she feels the same or if she would be interested, yeah, you've got to do something. Unrequited love hurts. But it easier to deal with if you know it's unrequited. I think not knowing would be worse than getting shot down." Bella put the knife down and focused all her attention on Tyler.

"It took a long time for me not to hurt about it. And don't get me wrong, it did hurt, a lot. But I think I'm stronger in the long run. Especially after what happened at school. That's one of the reasons why what the kids at school didn't bother me that much. I've been abandoned by people I care about before, so when the ones I don't care for as much ignore me it's not that big a deal." Tyler just looked at her confused.

"My mom walked out on me when I was nine. I haven't heard from her since."

"Oh." That was all that Tyler could think to say. Edward hadn't heard that before, he just knew she wasn't around.

"So if your guy changed his mind and wanted to start something up, what would you do?" Tyler asked, trying to lead her to a different conversation, maybe one less painful than abandonment.

"I doubt he'd ever see me that way." Bella looked down at her hands on the counter.

"But if he did, could you forgive him?" Damn good question, Edward thought to himself in the hall.

"Forgive, yes. I mean, I can even forgive Mike Newton for his stupidity. But to start up a romance, that would take a lot of convincing. And anyway, we were talking about you. You got me off topic. So, how are you going to win your lady fair?" Bella and Tyler both started to laugh.

"You're one of my best friends, you know that, right?" Tyler reached over and hugged Bella. Bella giggled.

"You are not going to catch a girl with that line, buddy. Especially about another girl." Bella pushed him playfully.

Edward decided to join them in the kitchen. Later he would think about how to apologize to Bella for being such a shit.

**AN: Thank you for reading. I'll post again in just over a week. Can you tell I'm just a little bit excited?**


	20. Chapter 20

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a deep and everlasting hatred for ice.**

Chapter 20

Tyler was in love.

Enamoured.

Besotted.

Enchanted.

Smitten.

Entranced.

Bewitched by Bella's Turkey potpie.

He had watched and helped her prepare it but the magic of the recipe wasn't clear to him until the entire dish was in front of him. It had seemed so simple in the making. Onions and bacon joined with chopped cooked turkey, leftover glazed carrots, and the rest of the frenched green beans. Adding a cup or two of stuffing, a few tablespoons of cranberry sauce, a generous dollop of gravy and lashings of cream to moisten seemed like alchemy to Tyler. It was beyond his understanding how she could take all these simple easy ingredients and create a homey masterpiece. He had three servings and almost asked for a forth before his eyes caught up with his stomach.

Bella and Edward were amazed, and frankly a little frightened, watching Tyler consume his weight in dinner. Bella was very thankful that this year she had purchased a turkey that was much bigger than she had in previous years, knowing that she would have more mouths to feed than just her and Charlie. There was still enough left to make soup, but she had a feeling that if she told Tyler, he'd never leave her house.

In between bouts of watching Tyler eat and trying to eat himself, Edward thought over what he had heard when he was listening behind closed doors. He felt so guilty for so many different reasons. He hadn't known about her mother. He had never even thought to ask why Chief Swan was raising Bella by himself. He had never thought of the bravery it would have taken for Bella to bare her soul to him in such a way and at such a young age. He was at least four years older than her and he had no idea how to approach her with what he was feeling now. He didn't really understand the strength it took for her to go to school every day knowing that no one would be there for her. He didn't realize that his rejection of her would effect the way she saw herself and lower her self worth. He had no idea how to go about making it up to her. How to apologize for his actions and possibly earn her forgiveness.

The trio settled in to watch the last few movies. The tone of the last films were more dark and sad than the others. No one was interested in the candy as it would add an artificial joy to the sombre mood. Tyler sat in Charlie's chair, claiming the blanket that Edward had used during his nap. Bella and Edward sat stiffly near each other on the couch.

Bella knew that very soon, as the stories progressed, her emotions would run away with her and she would cry. No matter how many times she saw the films or read the books, the deaths that occurred during the finale always touched her. It was like a punch in the gut over and over again. And she didn't want Edward to see her cry. She never wanted Edward to see her cry again. She knew he already had a very low opinion of her and she didn't want it to get any lower.

But she knew it was inevitable. There was no way she would make it through the death toll without at least tearing up. She had stashed a box of tissues beside the couch just for this part of the evening.

Bella tried her best to control her feelings as she switched the discs to play part one of the last book. She let her hair fall over her face so that the boys would not see the tears running down her face. She quickly walked into the kitchen to make a pot of tea to help her soothe her nerves. She didn't hear Edward follow her into the kitchen.

Edward had noticed the tears when she had gotten up off the couch. After watching Harry's mentor die on screen he knew why she was crying. He also knew, thanks to his mother, that sometimes women just need a good cry to let it all out. He followed her into the kitchen and saw her standing in front of the kettle with her hands on the counter. She was dragging in deep breaths in a effort to calm herself. He was hesitant to disturb her but wanted to offer some comfort. He could only hope that she would take what he offered. He placed one hand on her shoulder and watched her jump slightly.

"Shhh, pretty girl." He tried to keep his tone soothing and gentle as he rubbed her shoulder.

She surprised the hell out of both of them when she turned and laid her head on his chest. He splayed one hand across her upper back and rested his other on her hair. His body reacted without his brain's permission as he tilted his head and kissed the top of her's. Feeling him kiss the top of her head shocked her out of her sadness and she pulled away from him quickly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. It won't happen again." She admitted as she turned back to finish making the tea.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. That last part was really hard to watch and I noticed Tyler tearing up. I, um, are you? Okay, that is?" He was at a loss for words.

"Yeah, I'm fine. There's lots of sad stuff coming up and I got ahead of my self. I'm good now." Bella busied herself with the tea mugs.

Edward really wanted to comfort her again but it was like she had build a wall up to keep him out.

Bella picked up two of the tea mugs and nodded to Edward for him to grab the third. Bella passed one to Tyler and settled on the couch again. Edward sat directly beside her as the movie started.

The combination of the hot tea and the enormous amount of turkey in his system caused Tyler to pass out very early into the show. When Dobby the elf died in Harry's arms Bella gave up all pretences of reigning in her tears. Edward put in the last movie and sat down beside Bella again. He wrapped his arm around her and let her cry herself out on his chest.

**AN: I know it may seem like an over the top reaction for Bella to have but after the stress of preparing a holiday meal, the excitement of the movie day with Tyler, the unexpected arrival of Edward and everything else that had been going on lately, I felt she needed a good cry. There is a particular movie I used to watch when I needed to expunge some emotion usually around the time I wished I had an automatic weapon and a few pounds of chocolate. But now I have a collection of stories that let me have my good cry. My sister used to watch SPCA info-mercials, so to each their own.**

**Sorry for the slight delay, Mother Nature dumped almost three feet of snow here while I was on vacation and I spent the last two days chipping ice out of the driveway. So, now I'm a little loopy on anti-inflamatories and muscle relaxants because I've sprained my wrist and discovered muscle groups that I've been missing since high school.**

**Thanks for reading. See you in three days.**


	21. Chapter 21

**This may come as a shock, believe me, I was floored when I found out that I do not own Twilight. **

Chapter 21

Edward had a hard time waking Tyler up to get him home after the movies were all over. He also was reluctant to leave Bella's house because she had spent the last two hours with her head on his shoulder, crying softly. He now knew that what he was feeling for her had nothing to do with pent up hormones or lack of female attention but had everything to do with Bella herself. She was, for him, the epitome of feminine grace. She was beautiful, kind and giving. Forgiving and generous to the point of selflessness. Her intelligence and physical presence called to him. He knew she didn't see it and he was determined to make her see herself through his eyes. With a little self contentment she would be glorious and he would be the luckiest man in the world if he could call her his.

He wanted to belong to her.

He had a lot of work ahead of him. After years of being tramped down it would take forever for her to rise to the surface. He didn't know if he should continue on his current course of trying to befriend her and earn her regard that way or if he should try something more radical. Make a grand gesture and sweep her off her feet. The more he thought the more confused he was. Although he was fairly certain that if he were to sweep her off her feet it would only be because she was kicking him in the ass.

He really wanted to talk to her about what he had overheard her say in the kitchen. He wished he could have the same courage she had when she wrote him that letter. He was sure that he had left college with a set of balls but for the life of him he couldn't find them. Maybe friendship was all he was worth, maybe all he deserved.

He rolled over in his bed and sat up. He looked around his little apartment, searching for something to help him relieve the tension he was feeling. He picked up one of his pillows and started beating the shit out of it. It was his second favourite tension reliever. He refused to use his first. He didn't deserve the pleasure and Bella deserved more respect than just being his spank bank fodder.

Bella had trouble falling asleep after the boys left. She kicked herself over and over for leaning on Edward for comfort. It was one of the more asinine things she had ever done. God, what must he think of her now? Some weak little girl who can't handle a sad movie? A crybaby over fiction? Then she wondered why she cared, even a little bit, about how he saw her. What did it matter what he thought? She was loathed to admit that there was something unresolved in her heart about Edward. She needed him to acknowledge her, to see her as a living, feeling person not just as a little girl who once had a crush on him. She needed him to see her strong and powerful, not to make him remorseful but aware that what he did, did not break her.

But a small part of her remembered the feeling of his chest against her cheek as he held her. The soapy smell that clung to his skin, simple and generic, but memorable just the same. Or perhaps it was just him.

Either way, she did finally fall asleep with the scent of him on her mind. Her dreams were disjointed and bizarre. They were full of swirling colours and flickers of images from the movies she had watched interspersed with people she knew in real life.

She heard music and ran along a dark corridor to find the source. She came to a closed door and flung it open. At first it was a broom closet filled with spider webs and cleaning supplies but as she looked around the small space it grew into a ballroom, a massive space lined with gilt-edged mirrors. All her classmates were dancing in pairs, the girls in long multi-coloured dresses, the boys in suits that shimmered in rainbow tones. She looked down to see what she was wearing.

The dress that clung to her body was black and short and very tight. Tiny jewelled spaghetti straps held the dress to her body, the neckline draped in small folds creating a stunning set of boobs that Bella was sure weren't hers. She was tempted to grab hold of them just to see if they were. She looked further down and saw that the hem was finished in a fringe with beads at the ends. They tinkled together slightly when she moved. Her feet were encased in the highest pair of heels Bella had ever seen. The toe came to a point that was almost like an ice pick, sharp and deadly looking. In between the dancing couples Bella was able to see a glance of herself in one of the mirrors. Hot was the only word that came to mind. Really fucking hot.

With a confidence that only seemed to come in dreams, Bella walked to the centre of the room. The dancers swirled around her but gave her space to move. She started to move her body with the music, swaying her hips and raising her arms over her head.

She sensed the man behind her before he touched her. When she put a little extra hitch in her hips he grabbed them roughly and yanked her back against his hard body. His hands were searing hot on her hips as he moved with her. She looked down and saw the edge of his sleeves, the fabric changed colours almost too quickly for Bella to see. She looked behind her shoulder but his face was obscured by a hood. She couldn't see his face. One of his hands slid from her hips to splay possessively over her lower stomach, just above her pubic bone. When she looked down at that hand, never stopping the sensuous dance, she noticed that her dress was changing colour at a much slower rate than the cloak the man wore. The colours were rich and sultry, bold colours that Bella would never wear in real life.

The man, and she could feel very well that it was a man dancing behind her, slid the hand that was still holding her hip up over her ribs across her breast, where the hand paused for a moment, to come to rest over her heart. The hand then reached inside her chest until it held her heart. Bella stopped breathing but continued dancing waiting for the hand to rip her heart out. But the hand did not take her heart out of her chest but rather changed the rhythm of the beats.

Bella awoke with a start, her heart beating hard in her chest. She was flushed and overheated, but she remembered every second of the dream.

**AN: Ummmm?**


	22. Chapter 22

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a purple bathrobe that I sometimes pretend is a Hogwarts cloak. But, then I take my medicine and everything is better.**

Chapter 22

Bella spent the rest of the weekend up to her elbows in fish guts and dream interpretation. She got much further with the fish than the dreams. Charlie came back late Saturday afternoon to find the house spotless with no evidence of the movie marathon save for a few boxes of candy. He fell on the candy like a wolf on a defenceless bunny.

A very nervous sounding Katie phoned Bella Sunday after dinner. She asked Bella to join in a study group she was thinking of organizing. Exams were coming up just after the winter break and college application worries were plaguing some of the seniors. Bella was happy to join the group if she could, while keeping her work schedule and other responsibilities in mind. They scheduled a few sessions and chatted a little about mundane things.

The phone rang just after she hung up with Katie. There was a lengthy pause after Bella said hello before the caller spoke.

"Bella? It's Mike. Mike Newton. From school." The pause was longer.

"I know who you are, Mike. Why are you calling me?" Bella was stunned.

"I need to apologize to you. My parents made me go to a therapist and he thinks that apologizing to you would be a good step. I don't want to go to a boot camp for bullies and I was really stupid and mean to you, and for no go reason and I thought maybe apologizing would help, like my therapist said. Your dad had been following me around in his cop car and I think he wants to arrest me for something. And the guys at school won't talk to me any more unless they really have to, I think I need your help Bella." The words came out so fast, Bella could barely understand what Mike was saying.

"Wait! Slow down, Mike. I don't know what you are trying to say."

"I need to apologize to you." His voice was shaky and he stuttered a little.

"Okay. Why? Because you feel bad for what you did or because your therapist told you too?"

"Both." Mike was still so nervous that his stutter would come back permanently.

"And your parents are threatening to send you to some sort of boot camp or something?" With each question both Bella and Mike felt the hole he had been digging himself into grow larger and larger.

"Yes, I really don't want to go, I looked it up on line and it's really mean." He had read about it, there were cold showers and forced marches, calisthenics and long lectures, uniforms, everything a soft coward could fear.

"So, what do you want from me? You want me to talk to your parents? Confront the kids at school? Find you a different therapist? What are you asking, Mike?"

"I don't know." He really had no clue.

"Why should I help you, Mike? Tell me one good reason." She wanted to tell him to go to hell. To tell him to fuck off and be done with him. To sit back and watch his life disintegrate while she ate her lunch at school. But she knew she wasn't that person and she hated herself for it.

"Because I really am sorry. It was a stupid thing to do. I didn't think it was fair that Tyler go so hurt and you didn't. I thought that you'd never gave me the time of day and I was scared to ask you out so it just seemed easier, in my mind to hate you. It just grew and grew until it took over. I'm sorry I was such an idiot." The past tense was wrong. What he was doing now was worse than anything he had done to her in the past.

"Not was, Mike, are. You are an idiot. And an asshole. If you ever call me again, I will have my dad on your case so fast your head will spin. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand. I'm sorry, Bella. I won't bother you any more. Good-bye." Mike had started to cry. Hearing his quiet sobs sealed the deal for Bella.

"Wait. I didn't say I wouldn't help you."

"What? Really?"

"Yes, really, you shit head. I'll help with the kids at school because no one helped me. I'll talk to my dad about following you but you have to deal with your own parents. If your therapist wants to talk to me, give him my number. But..." Mike was scared by this pause.

"If you put one toe out of line you'll regret it for the rest of your life, Mike. I don't like you. But I don't hate you, in fact I feel kind of sorry for you." Bella channelled her inner Mrs. Weasley.

"So if I asked you on a date now?" Mike let the question hang.

"So help me, I'll kill you. Good-bye, jerk. See you at school." Bella hung up before any more shit could come out of that boy's mouth.

Bella lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. What a weird day. What a weird month. What was next? She shuddered at the thought.

She went down stairs to start on helping Mike, as much as she really didn't want to. She walked into the living room and waited until whatever sports game her dad was watching to go to commercial. She walked over to his chair and kissed him on the top of the head.

"What was that for?" Charlie asked his daughter, surprised. They were not the most demonstrative family so this little display of affection was unusual.

"Leave Mike Newton alone." Bella looked him in the eye.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He turned back to the television, smirking. He would do what his daughter asked. He was glad he had gotten his point across to Newton. But he would still keep an eye on the miserable little shit, he just wouldn't get caught doing it.

Bella just laughed at him and went back upstairs to study.

**AN: Thank you for reading.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a kitten who loves Rice Krispies Cereal. I may have to change her nickname to Crackle.**

Chapter 23

Bella dressed very carefully the next morning. She also packed a change of clothes because there was no way she was going to spend the entire day dressed like this. Well, maybe.

Bella usually tuned out when Alice started in on fashion, dressing for success, power panties and crap like that but Bella had to admit that she did feel a little more powerful in her chosen outfit. Maybe it was the boots with their added inch of height or maybe it was the bra with it's added inch of height. Either way, she was ready for her task. She had practised parts of her speech, hoping that someone would give her the prompts she needed.

She arrived at school fifteen minutes early and made her way to the basement and into the pool area. She took at deep breath and opened the locker room door. The air was thick and muggy, it smelled of chlorine, mildew, sweat, and testosterone. Bella almost gagged at the smell. She could hear off key singing and locker doors clanging shut. There was the sound of running water and slapping feet. Bella was glad that she had gone eighteen years with out this experience and hoped that she could go another eighteen before experiencing it again.

She walked around a line of lockers towards the majority of the noise. There in various stages of undress was the boys swim team. Mike Newton was sitting alone at the end of a bench with one towel around his hips and another over his hair. All of his team mates and friends were joking around with each other and moving around as if Mike wasn't there. Bella stood watching for a few seconds before one of the boys noticed her.

"What the hell? You can't be in here, this is the men's changing room."

All the guys in the room turned to look at the intruder as they made sure everything important to them was covered. Bella almost laughed at the sight of these boys frantically trying to cover themselves, especially when most of them were already half dressed. If there had been too much skin, Bella would have just walked out again. It would do her no good to have Charlie arrest her for peeping.

Bella drew herself up to her full height plus heels, placed her hands on her hips, and glared at the boy speaking to her. Her outfit wasn't revealing or tight. She wore a green silk blouse and dark jeans. She looked like a grown-up, like a teacher, like some one who was light-years ahead of the children in the steamy room. She had poise and presence. She exuded authority.

"Funny, I don't see any men here. Just little boys. Little boys who got caught being naughty and then turned on one of their own when they did get caught. You guys treated me like shit for months now you turn around and do the same thing to Mike. Doesn't he have a hard enough time with out you jerks picking on him too? Not only is he an impotent asshole but he had to come whining to me that his friends won't talk to him any more. One would think that a team who was so united just a few weeks ago would stick together. You should be ashamed of yourselves."

"Dude, you're impotent?" One of the smaller boys shouted at Mike.

"Not that kind of impotent, dipstick." Bella said, smirking at him.

"If you guys don't smarten up and start acting like the men you think you are by helping Mike learn how to treat people properly, I'll tell everyone. I'll tell your parents about the last year. I'll make sure every girl in this school gets a vivid account of the little things I see here. Do I make myself clear?"

Most of the boys nodded, sheepishly.

"Mike, fight your own battles next time. I put up with shit from you without one word of complaint. Grow up and find some balls." With that Bella spun on her heels and stalked out of the room.

Bella ducked into the nearest girls room and locked herself in a stall. She stood with her back resting on the door. There were two words running on a loop in her head.

"Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit."

What had she just done? What had she just said? Holy shit, what had she just seen? Bella took two seconds to be just a little bit girly and she giggled. She had gone into the boy's changing room and spoken to the half naked swim team. Where had she gotten the balls to do that?

She had attacked them, berated them and shamed them. Damn, but it felt good. Plus she was able to get a few digs in at Mike, too.

She started to slide down the stall door to sit when she remembered where she was. Not a chance in hell was she going to sit on a public bathroom floor. She leaned over and put her hands on her knees. She tried to take deep breaths but her lungs were not cooperating.

Maybe she was able to stand up for others when she was unable to stand up for her self. Maybe she just pitied Mike. Maybe all Alice's bull crap about power panties was right. Maybe, just maybe, she was stronger than she thought. Which ever way, she felt good. She felt powerful. She felt that these boots were pinching her baby toes and it was time to change. She pushed away from the stall door and walked over to the sinks. With automatic reactions she washed her hands. She looked at herself in the mirror. Still the same Bella. No halo, no cape, and no horns.

After she came back from changing her shoes she walked straight to her locker. There, peaking out of the door, was a piece of paper. It was the same small envelope as the last time, her name typed on the front. She opened the note and read.

**I see you.**

**You astound me.**

**Your Secret Admirer.**

Bella didn't know what to think. She put the note in her bag and wandered off to class.

After lunch with her new friends she went back to her locker before going to the library to see Tyler. There was another note.

**I see you.**

**You confound me.**

**Your Secret Admirer.**

All right then. Bella was glad that some one had access to a thesaurus and a printer but it would be nice to get to the point.

At the end of the day, she found yet another note.

**I see you.**

**You astonish me.**

**Your Secret Admirer.**

There was a note under her wind-shield wiper. She looked around the parking lot but no one looked suspicious or shifty.

**I see you.**

**You bewilder me.**

**Your Secret Admirer.**

There was a note in her mailbox. It was starting to get a little creepy. Sweet, but creepy.

**I see you.**

**You unnerve me.**

**Your Secret Admirer.**

Bella entered her house cautiously, making sure that the lock was still engaged before she opened the door and checking it, twice, when she closed the door. She promised herself that if she found any notes inside the house, she'd high-tail it to Charlie's office.

There were no notes in the house. Apparently her sweetish, creepy stalker secret admirer wasn't into breaking and entering. Maybe Bella would not have to sleep with her pepper spray after all.

**AN: I'm out of words. Insert something pithy here.**


	24. Chapter 24

**I do not own Twilight. I do own a new and large collection of liquor bottles because my parents are coming for a visit.**

Chapter 24

The notes continued all week. Some days there was only one. Other days it seemed like every five minutes there was a new one. After Tuesday the 'I see you' changed which was a relief for Bella because it was getting creepier and creepier. She had half expected an 'I see you while you're sleeping and your blood calls to me' kind of message. Perhaps her creepy sweet stalker saw her flinching when she read one. Or maybe his thesaurus broke.

On Wednesday there were quotes from books and movies regarding ardent first loves.

Thursday was a very long list of songs for Bella to listen to at her leisure, of course. Creepy sweet stalker was unerringly polite.

Friday she received the most notes yet. They were everywhere. They all described Bella. Her hair, her eyes, her smile, her blush and the small group of freckles on her neck. Nothing was mentioned from her shoulders down, a fact that made Bella feel more comfortable with her secret admirer. She would have lost it with the entire school population if someone had sent her a note about her breasts or her ass.

Most everyone was now friendly with Bella in the halls. Partly because of the giddiness that surrounds the winter break and partly because they had heard of the locker room incident. The boys were a little scared of her and the girls were wildly impressed. She refused to give any comment about what she had seen in the locker room after confirming with Mike that his friends had apologised. She just keep a Mona Lisa smile on her face and said nothing about the interaction.

Tyler almost got them kicked out of the library for cheering and applauding her after he heard about it. Edward looked a bit pissed off about the whole thing which just made Bella shrug. Edward could be pissed off if he wanted to, it made no difference to her. Tyler was proud of Bella for standing up to the swim team even if it was for Mike's benefit. He almost fell off his chair laughing when Bella told him about the phone call the night before. They got very little reading done, they just chatted together quietly or not so quietly sometimes.

Over the weeks leading up to the winter break, time seemed to speed up. Classes were useless. There was very little new material to cover and after the break there were two weeks of revision before exams. There were still notes but just one a day. Messages just to let Bella know that her secret admirer was still there and still interested in her. Bella had decided not to try to make a mystery out of it. It would do her no good to stay up late at night wondering who it could be. If this boy, and Bella hoped that it was a boy although the alternative was an intriguing idea, really wanted her, then let him come to her. She was in no mood to play Nancy Drew.

Bella had mailed off a package to Alice with gifts for her, her parents and Jasper. She had Charlie's presents hidden in the house and most of the Christmas treats made. Bella made three times as many goodies as usual so that she could give parcels to the Crowleys and the Cullens. She had a gift ready for Tyler to give to him on the last day of school. She even had a gift for Edward. He had been friendlier lately, hanging around in the library, and smiling at her everyday.

The last day of school greeted Bella with a thin layer of frost on the ground. It was just enough to make everything slippery. She grabbed her bags and left a little earlier than usual just in case the roads were bad. Charlie was working nights again and she left him with a kiss to the head and a reminder not to snoop. They had a date the next afternoon to buy a tree and decorate the house.

She arrived at school relatively unscathed, just an ache in her knuckles from her grip on the steering wheel and some extra tension in her shoulders. When she jumped out of the truck her legs slipped out from under her and she landed hard on her ass. She heard voices calling her name which meant that there were witnesses to her humiliation. Edward ran up to her first followed by Tyler. Tyler was grinning at her pratfall but Edward looked very concerned.

"Are you okay, pretty girl?" Edward asked as he held out a hand to help her up. She nodded and accepted his help. His free hand briefly wrapped around her waist as she gained her footing. As soon as she was stable he let go of her.

"Shit, Bella. Are you alright? The look on your face...?" Tyler was having a hard time not laughing at her.

"I'm fine, thank you." Bella turned and bent over to pick up her bags. When she turned back Tyler was still grinning but Edward had a pained look on his face.

"Thanks for the rescue." She said to Edward. He just nodded his head and turned to walk away. Maybe he's not in a friendly mood today, she thought to herself.

There was no note in her locker that morning. In fact there was no note at all that day. Bella felt slightly disappointed and relieved at the same time. She and Tyler exchanged gift at the beginning of their time in the library. Tyler loved the gold and red scarf Bella had found for him. Tyler was a little shy as he passed her the envelope that held her Christmas present.

"It's from me and my parents. For Christmas and to say thank you for being such a good friend. I know you're going to college soon and we thought maybe this could help." Bella had never seen Tyler blush before.

The envelope had several gift cards, one for a coffee shop, a bookstore, online music and a fast food restaurant. It was like a freshman starter pack. It was also for way too much money.

"Tyler, thank you, it's too much. Please thank your parents for me." Bella stood up, gave Tyler a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It's not too much." Tyler said, his words muffled by his head on Bella's shoulder. There was a throat clearing behind them. As they broke apart they noticed that Edward had come back into the library and was standing watching the two of them.

"Oh, Edward, hey. I have a present for you." Bella was slightly embarrassed to be found hugging someone in the library.

Edward's face lit up.

"Really?"

"Really, really." Bella giggled to herself. Edward looked confused but happy. Tyler smacked Bella, gently, on the arm.

"You did not just quote Shrek, did you?" Tyler snorted with laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Here" She passed a small wrapped box to Edward.

He sat down and opened it carefully. Nestled inside the box was a set of four monogrammed handkerchiefs edged in dark green thread. Edward was surprised at the very elegant and grown-up gift.

"Thank you, Bella. They're lovely. They'll go perfectly with my new suit. Alice made me get one for the hospital gala my parents are forcing us to attend after Christmas."

He walked over to her and opened his arms but stood waiting. He didn't want to force her to hug him if she didn't want to. She gave him a quick hug but was shocked when Edward leaned down and gave her a quick peck on the lips, too.

"I, um, have something for you too but it's at home." Edward stammered.

"Don't worry about it. Thank you, though." Bella smiled at him. The bell rang. Bella and Tyler had to hurry off to class, but not before making plans to get together during the holidays for some fun. Edward hung back and let them chat on the way out.

Bella was happy that the day was over and that there was no school for two weeks. She parked her truck in it's usual spot and walked slowly towards the house. There on the stoop in front of the door was a large flowerpot. A large riot of purple Heather tumbled out of the top of the pot.

**AN: Next post may be late, but only by a few days.**


	25. Chapter 25

**I don't own Twilight. I do own several, well, a couple, well, a few chocolate Easter eggs. One, there is one egg. There, you feel better now?**

Chapter 25

The day after Christmas Bella was woken up ridiculously early by both the phone ringing and Charlie yelling her name. It was five-thirty in the morning and the panicked call was from Alice. She was desperate for Bella's help or rather her mother was.

The woman in charge of the food for the gala had injured herself skiing at Whistler. She was now nursing a broken leg and concussion at a hospital in Vancouver. Esme Cullen was in charge of the entire gala and while she had exemplary cooking skills and could possibly cater the entire event by herself, she needed help. All the local caterers were fully booked for the holidays and couldn't even spare a server, let alone a sous chef, to help. It was a cost saving measure that the ladies auxiliary had come up with, providing the catering themselves, so Esme was in a bind. The menu had been set and most of the ingredients purchased, they just needed someone who could cook and follow orders. Alice had volunteered Bella.

After conferring with Charlie, who was delighted that Bella had somewhere to go while he worked holiday overtime, Bella was packing to spend the next week in Seattle. Alice squealed with delight and promised to find Bella just the right dress for the dance. Esme had cried with relief and promised that someone would come down to collect her so that she wouldn't have to drive herself up to Seattle.

Six hours later Bella was organized, the house tidied, and the kitchen stocked with many ready meals for Charlie. Bella was reading one of her new books when a car pulled into her driveway. Bella rushed to get her coat and bags so that whoever was driving wouldn't have to wait too long for her. When the knock on the door came Bella was bent over lacing her boots. She reached over, blindly and opened the door.

"Hang on just a second." Bella said still bent over.

"Okay." A familiar voice said.

Bella stood up too quickly and faltered. Edward was the one who came to drive her to Seattle. She would have to spend four hours alone in a car with Edward. Edward who barely tolerated her. Edward who was only friendly with her because of her associations with Tyler and Alice. Edward who was still too pretty to look at even if she didn't really like him right now. Edward who smelled kind of yummy, she should have had a snack before. Edward who was smirking at her.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked as she gathered the last of her stuff.

"Yup."

He grabbed the biggest bag she had and motioned for her to go first. She walked out of the house to see that Edward had driven down in his father's car. At least the hellish drive would be in the comfort of a Mercedes.

Edward placed her bag in the back seat and held the passenger door open for her while she put the rest of her stuff in the back. She thanked him and sat in the very plush leather seat. She buckled herself in while he walked around to the driver's side.

"Sorry you got saddled with chauffeur duty. I hope I didn't put you out too much or spoil your plans." Bella felt mildly guilty. But that didn't stop her from babbling.

"I didn't get saddled, I volunteered. I wanted to talk to you and the last time we talked it went so horribly, I didn't think I'd ever get the chance again. So, now I've got you trapped in my car for a few hours and there are no flowers for you to beat me with, maybe we could have a conversation?" Bella wasn't the only one feeling guilty and babbling.

"I guess I don't have any other choice, do I?" Bella sighed. She had no idea what it was he wanted to talk about.

"I should say that I sorry to trap you this way but I'm not. I am sorry for many other things though. Too many other things." He paused, having no idea where to start his apologies.

"First though, I have a confession. I overheard you talking to Tyler after Thanksgiving. I know I shouldn't have listened but I couldn't help myself. What you said to him, Bella, I had no idea. I'm so sorry that I was so arrogant and mean to you. I know now that I really should have read the letter you wrote me. I really should have been more gracious and smart but we both know that I am neither of those things. And then when I mean up with you again at your school, damn, I was such an asshole. All I ever saw was the crush. I never saw the girl behind it. I never, for one moment thought of your feelings outside of what I thought they were. I could excuse it and say that I was only seventeen, young and stupid but you're seventeen and, god, so much smarter than I was, than I am now. Please forgive me? I don't know why you would want to, but I'm asking. Please forgive me?"

"Eighteen."

"Pardon?"

"I'm eighteen, not seventeen."

"I'm sorry." He was still waiting to see if she would respond to what he had told her. She sat staring out the window at the trees as they passed them. In her head, over the years she had practice what she would say to him if he ever spoke to her again. Forceful, biting words that would show her mental and intellectual superiority. She never imagined him apologizing to her.

"Why now? Why ask for forgiveness now? What does it matter now? The school year is half way over. I have no idea if I'll have the same study hall next semester. You might not have to deal with me in a few weeks."

"I don't want to just deal with you, Bella. I want to atone for how I've treated you and hopefully earn your respect. When I saw what was happening at school and I saw what kind of person you really are, it made me realize just how truly awful I've been. I couldn't let any more time go by before trying to make it up to you. You are such a good person, Bella, you deserve much better from life and from me. " Edward noticed her wiping a tear away from her cheek. Shit, he thought to himself, now I've made her cry.

"Please don't cry, Bella. I'm sorry." He pulled the car over to the side of the road. There was nothing around them for miles and it had been a while since they had seen another car. He unbuckled his seatbelt and reached for her, gathering her in his arms.

**AN: Tune in in a few days when they get down and dirty in the backseat of Carlisle's car. I was busy on April first so I'll mess with you today instead.**


	26. Chapter 26

**I don't own Twilight. I do own lots and lots of dryer lint. Please send me a message if you are a collector, I will ship overseas.**

Chapter 26

"Let go of me!" Bella pushed at Edward, struggling to get out of his hold. He let go of her and moved back as far as he could go.

"Shit, every time something doesn't go the way you want, you don't have to manhandle me. I'm just mad. And sad. And relieved. It's just one tear, it doesn't mean I need a hug, Edward. Don't you know anything about women?"

"I think that it is fairly obvious that I have no idea, isn't it?" He answered, ruefully.

Bella giggled slightly against her will. He had that little boy look again. The look that made it very hard to be mad at him.

"Thank you for apologizing. I needed to hear that, as painful as it was to be reminded. I'm pissed that you eavesdropped on my conversation with Tyler but at least you learned something. Maybe it was the best way, though. I mean there was no way I could tell you myself how I felt and what I went through. And really, you wouldn't have taken the time to listen to me if I had tried."

"That's true. My head has been too far up my own ass for a long time, or so I've been told recently. Thank you for letting me apologize."

"I wasn't given a choice. I'm kind of trapped here."

"I'm sorry."

"You need to stop now. You've cleared the air and said your piece. Let's just get back on the road and leave it alone." Bella's early morning was catching up with her. She just wanted to get to Alice's, find out what she had to do for the next few days and sleep. She wanted to bury the whole Edward thing and move on.

Edward wanted to talk more. He wanted to spill everything to her. He wanted her absolution and forgiveness. He wanted her to see him in a different light so that maybe they could change the nature of their relationship. He wanted to get more comfortable in the back seat of his dad's car and show her just how much he changed over the years.

Instead he restarted the car and continued the drive back home. He waited as long as he possibly could, which was about seven minutes, before bringing it up again.

"Would you be willing to forgive me, Bella? You never said. I'd really like to be on better terms with you."

"I can forgive you, I do forgive you for most of what happened. It's the past, it's over, and it won't happen again. But I don't know what you want now. I don't know what you mean by better terms. I don't know what I want from you or if I want anything at all. Just give me some time to think, please Edward. Alice woke me up really early this morning, I'm tired and stressed thinking about helping your mother. Can we talk later, much later?"

"I can do that. Thank you, Bella."

Bella felt relieved. Edward felt dejected.

They drove in relative silence for most of the rest of the journey. Edward's ipod playing in the background was the only noise. Bella dosed for a while, dreamlessly, her head resting on the window. Edward ran through the conversation they had had, over and over again. He tried to think of different ways he could apologize to her, things he should have said, things he shouldn't have said. He came to the realization that his brain and his mouth were not properly connected.

Just outside of the city he woke her up, just in case she needed anything before they got to his home. When she asked for a coffee he stopped at the closest place. Bella insisted on paying and, against his better judgement and masculine pride, he accepted the offer. He texted his mother that they would be arriving soon.

They arrived at the stately Cullen home by late afternoon. Esme was pacing on the porch waiting for them. She all but ran down the stairs when they pulled up.

Bella was her salvation.

Alice was a danger in the kitchen. She would flit from job to job, never finishing anything, letting pots boil over or scorch. Carlisle, while a gifted doctor and surgeon, when given a paring knife, was a danger only to himself. The man could cut a finger off while handling cream cheese. Edward needed constant reassurance that what he was doing was exactly right and Esme wouldn't be able to get any work done herself.

Bella, she knew Bella was an instinctive cook. They had worked together in the past and Esme remembered it, that it was like dancing. Bella could anticipate what Esme needed even when Esme couldn't find the right words. The menu wasn't huge, the guest list was modest and it was well known that it was home cooking not professional catering, but Esme was a perfectionist and wanted to serve only the best. That was the main reason for her panic and relief. That and she really wanted to show up that snot-nosed cow Eleanor, who was committee chairwoman last year and who had voted against Esme's in house catering idea.

After a bone-crushing hug from Esme, Bella grabbed her bags and turned to speak to Edward.

"Thank you for coming to get me and driving me up. Thank you also for the heather, it makes the whole house smell wonderful. I kind of liked getting the notes in my locker but, to be honest, the ones at my home were a little creepy. Sweet but borderline stalkerish. When you're ready, you can tell me what you really want, okay? In person this time though. No more notes." She left him standing outside beside his father's car.

It took three minutes of him standing in the cold before a single coherent though made it's way to his brain.

"She knows."

**AN: If you are reading this and your name is Eleanor, I mean no offence. There are many lovely Eleanors, some in my own family. I just needed a formal type name. I was going to use Frances but then I thought of Sunflower Fran and couldn't do it. So, please don't kill me for my name choice. You can kill me for other things though, grammar, syntax, spelling, or unresolved chapter endings. I'll make sure to post my real address so you can find me...next chapter.**

**Also, I am in need of a beta for a special project. Would anyone be interested? Anyone who doesn't want to kill me.**


	27. Chapter 27

**I'm not so much in the owning Twilight department. I am in the staying up way too late reading Twilight fanfiction department.**

Chapter 27

Bella and Esme were inseparable that evening. In fact, they were inseparable for the remaining week up to the gala. Edward was too afraid to ask Bella to talk with him in front of his mother. He decided to bide his time and try to catch her alone over the next few days. He thought about sneaking in to her room at night but those plans were thwarted when his father put Bella's bags in Alice's room. He moped, grumbled and fussed coming very close to having a flouncing hissy fit. It was only after he received a strange look from Jasper that Edward calmed down.

Bella was not going out of her way to avoid Edward. There were just too many other things on her mind. The menu for the gala was intricate. She and Esme had written a schedule for the next few days that allowed for some breaks as well as the preparation of food for the family as well. Alice had volunteered Jasper as their shopping boy when they needed last minute items. He would be rewarded handsomely after the gala and was told, by Alice, to make sure to buy chocolate sauce and whipped cream for his reward. Jasper's healthy teenage mind ran through image after image until a goofy look was permanently etched on his face.

Alice had found what she said was the perfect dress for Bella to wear to the gala. Something fitting a New Year's Eve party with wealthy revellers. Bella was a bit nervous about her first fancy dress party but surmised that if she felt awkward she could always camp out in the kitchen and hide.

So, she chopped, stirred, sautéed, macerated, and poached while Esme diced, carved, julienned, and baked. They sang songs that were popular when Esme was young although she cringed when Bella called them oldies. They argued politics and current events. They discussed movies and rated hot actors. That discussion when overheard by Carlisle resulted in his storming off for the afternoon to sulk.

Bella was riding the high that the estrogen filled days gave her. She hadn't had a lot of feminine influences in her life and she was soaking it up. Alice pouted and begged until Bella and Esme were able to clear a few hours to go shopping for the right underwear for their dresses. Bella thought that she had never blushed so much in her life when surrounded by scanty panties and barely there bras. What made it worse was that Esme was the one who found the skimpiest items for them to try.

As it drew closer and closer to gala night Bella started to feel uneasy. She knew she had been busy but she didn't think that she had been unapproachable. She had thought that Edward would have come to talk to her about the whole secret admirer thing. She thought that she had made it clear that the ball was in his court. It was time for him to shit or get off the pot. Maybe he had just been playing with her. Sending her pretty notes to bolster her confidence. Make her feel wanted and admired. Plant that little, tiny seed of hopeful confusion that says maybe he's changed. But he hadn't even asked her to go to the gala with him. They were both going anyway, it could have been so easy to say 'let's go together'.

Her feelings were being pulled in different directions. He had started being nice to her, friendlier and affectionate. She still remembered that kiss of desperation of his. The hugs. And then there were the notes. Some of them extolling her virtues. The lush colour of her hair, the depth of her eyes, and the way her smile lit up his day.

Once she had put together the clues he had inadvertently given on the drive up, her thinking of him skewed slightly. Half of her felt that it would be cowardly to allow herself to fall for him again. The other half thought why not give him a chance if that's what he wants. But now, by not saying anything, he was pissing that chance away. When she asked if they could talk about it later, she meant hours later not days or weeks. She thought once she called him on the notes he beat a path to her door to explain. He said in the car that he hadn't seen the girl, just the crush. Almost all the notes started with 'I see you', well, now he was only seeing her at the dinner table and he could barely look her in the eye then. The music from his ipod played some of the songs on that list he left for her to listen to, in the same order, too. Had he used the flowery words of others to trick her into feeling something for him again? And if he had, to what end? She couldn't see how he could get any enjoyment out of playing this cat and mouse game with her. She felt stupid. She felt young and inexperienced. She felt sad. She felt angry. She felt like a fool. The more she thought of it, the more foolish she felt. But she also felt a little bit of hope.

Finally, New Year's Eve arrived. By noon all the food had been taken to the banquet hall. There was nothing left to do but get ready for the gala. Plucked, primped and cinched, Bella slid on the gorgeous taffeta dress Alice had found for her. At first glance it was black but as she moved there were hints of emerald and amethyst. The cut of the dress was straight out of the late fifties, falling just below her knees. The collar draped at the back and off her shoulders with a deeply plunging neckline. The corset Alice and Esme talked her into gave her a figure that made her own eyes pop out. When she looked down all she could see was boobs. She thought she looked like an extra from a Mad Men dinner party scene. Alice had called the dress 'witchy and bitchy', and Bella could see why. She felt great in it.

Carlisle and Jasper were waiting patiently at the bottom of the stairs. They both whistled as the three ladies walked down to join them. As Jasper helped Alice with her coat Carlisle helped both Bella and Esme.

"Where is Edward?" She asked Esme quietly as Carlisle opened the door to lead them all out.

"Oh, he is meeting us there. He just had to go pick up his date."

**AN: I'm allergic to rotten tomatoes, so if you feel the need to fling something at me, marshmallows are very aerodynamic.**


	28. Chapter 28

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a healthy fear of tax season and a deep and abiding love for calculators.**

To the guest who complained that this story is moving at a glacial pace. First of all, I'm Canadian and it is winter, glacial is something in which I am well educated. However, you are right, it is a very slow burn. For my next story I promise I'll skip all that nasty character development stuff or plot. They'll jump into bed and have wild, carnal and circus style sex three minutes after meeting for the first time, shout out each other's names while having explosive orgasms, drop I Love You's every ten seconds, get married, have babies and live happily ever after in wealth and luxury. Look for that story very soon.

For every other person who took time out of their lives to review, hi. Thanks for the marshmallows.

Chapter 28

The banquet hall was decorated with fresh white flowers and bright twinkling lights that glittered against the dark walls. A large dance floor was surrounded by dozens of small tables. A string quintet was set up and quietly tuning their instruments in the corner closest to the dance floor. There were several large tables set up with all the food Esme and Bella prepared. The high-school students that had volunteered their help were lined up to greet the guests and oversee the food. There was an area set aside for donations to fund the nephrology department and the transplant team. It was this year's cause for the benefit gala.

Bella was still reeling from the news that Esme had given her. She never would have guessed that Edward would already have a date lined up. But the longer she thought about it the more sense it made in her mind. None of the notes he gave her said anything overly romantic. Chances were slim that a very good looking guy like Edward would not have a girlfriend waiting for him while he worked out of town. It wasn't like he and Bella had long conversations about their lives. In fact they barely talked at all. Bella decided that his secret admirer notes were just to boost her confidence. That idea helped her feel less foolish. It was a big brother type thing to do. She ignored that tiny little voice in her head that yelled at her. The one screaming 'brothers don't kiss their sisters like that'.

Esme grabbed her arm and showed her around the food tables to see how the students had arranged everything. Carlisle joined them after he finished turning in their coats. Esme smacked his hand as he reached to sample a tempting morsel. He flashed her a little boy smile that reminded Bella of Edward.

The banquet hall very quickly filled with noise and people dressed in all their finery. They were milling around, chatting and eating. Esme beamed watching everyone enjoy all her hard work. She glanced at her watch and made her way over to the quintet. She whispered in the ear of the violin player and stood to the side as they started to play. It was the cue for the guest of honour to enter the room. The young girl, Siobhan, was chosen as the face of the fundraising campaign. She had been in desperate need of a kidney transplant. She was an only child in a very small family so there was no familial match to donate for her. A state wide search had yielded nothing. It wasn't until a posting on a social media site went viral that a donation tree was set up. There were currently fourteen people on the list and it was growing. A kidney had been found for her and her surgery was scheduled in two weeks.

Siobhan stood just inside the double doors to the banquet room. She was the epitome of the little girl next door. At nine years old she was a bit small for her age. Her strawberry blonde hair was a riot of curls. She wore a petal pink dress with flounces at the hem. The colour clashed at bit with her hair but that wasn't an argument her mother wanted to get into. She had a white patent leather purse that matched her Mary Jane shoes. There was a white orchid corsage on her left wrist that her date had given her. The right hand was firmly held by that date, a dashing young man in a black tuxedo.

Bella's heart stuttered when she saw that Edward was the date.

Now she felt even more stupid than before. She had let her mind run away with her. She had assumed the worst with out bothering to find out the truth. She decided that there was no way she was going to go back to Forks without talking to Edward, really talking to Edward.

Bella joined in on the applause for Siobhan and watched as Edward led her to the middle of the dance floor. One of the band members handed Siobhan a microphone. She gave a little speech about her situation and the need to donate to the hospital. She was quite eloquent for a nine year old. Siobhan beamed with pride when she finished her speech and skipped over to where Edward was waiting for her. Two people, who could only be her parents each gave her a big hug and the four of them started to mingle with the other guests.

Bella accepted a glass of some sort of pink liquid from Jasper, who had three drinks in his hand. She chatted with a few people who came up to talk to Alice. She listened to the quintet play. She tasted the food and smiled when she overheard people praising the effort. She even danced with Jasper, Carlisle and an octogenarian who was a little handsy.

Edward stayed loyal to his date. Bella would catch his eye once in a while and smile. He seemed to be having as much fun as Siobhan, just less giggly.

Esme dragged Bella around to all the auxiliary committee ladies and told them about Bella's contribution, making her blush with all the compliments.

Esme and Carlisle led the count down to midnight. Everyone was cheering and laughing as the new year rang in. Edward gave Siobhan a kiss on the cheek and she fell asleep listening to Auld Lang Syne. Bella joined in with Esme and the auxiliary ladies as they cleaned up the food platters and divvied things up. Esme announced to the group that they had raised an additional thirty-seven thousand dollars at the gala. More than the year before.

Although she was tired and her feet hurt, Bella couldn't remember having a better New Year's Eve. When she walked back into the banquet room she saw Edward sitting at a table by himself. Alice and Jasper were dancing and Carlisle was chatting with some friends.

"Your date was very beautiful. I think I'm jealous of her.", Bella said as she took a seat next to Edward.

"There you are. I wanted to talk to you but I couldn't find you.", he said, a little surprised to see her.

"I wanted to talk to you too. Would you drive me home, Edward?"

"Of course, Bella. Anything for you."

He stood up and waited for her to do the same. Edward caught Carlisle's eye and motioned to him that they were leaving. He helped her on with her coat and was shocked when she took his hand in her to walk to his car.

**AN: I could make jokes about being covered in sticky white stuff...**


	29. Chapter 29

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a patch of greenish-brownish stuff of my front yard. I think it might be grass but it's hard to tell with all the leftover snow.**

Chapter 29

Edward didn't want to get his hopes up but Bella holding his hand was a good sign, wasn't it? They walked slowly to his car. He was glad he had gotten it cleaned for his date with Siobhan. It was a filthy mess a few days ago. For a used piece of crap Honda Civic it served him well but because it was a used piece of crap Honda Civic he treated it like a garbage can. When ever the smell started to get to him, he cleaned it out.

He opened the passenger door for Bella and waited until she was settled before jogging around to the driver's side. He was nervous, afraid of what she might say, that she might turn him down and want to just be friends. Not that he had done a very good job at being her friend in the past. But he vowed to himself that he would be whatever she wanted him to be.

"Did you have a good time at the gala?", she asked him as he buckled his seatbelt.

"It was better than any other year. It was fun watching Siobhan have a good time. It was great to see her parents relax a little. It's been hard for the whole family. Oh, and the food was much better, positively mouth-watering.", he laughed.

"Thank you. Have you known Siobhan for a long time?"

"Not really. I met her mother, Maggie, early last year. She came in the clinic where I was doing some interning. She had badly sprained her ankle and needed some physio. The clinician let me help and we got to talking about our lives. She told me about Siobhan and her need for a new kidney. She told me they had been thinking about going on Facebook to see if they could find a living donor. I mentioned it to Dad and introduced them to each other. Dad took it from there, got the hospital involved and I guess that's it."

They stopped at a red light and he looked over at her. She was fiddling with the hem of her dress. He gathered that she had no more idea how to start this conversation than he did. He screwed up his courage and cleared his throat.

"Is it later yet?"

She blinked at him. What was he talking about?

"You said that we could talk later, much later. I wanted to talk to you all week but you were so busy with Mom and you looked so tried every night I didn't want to get into something and make things harder for you. The gala is over, there is no more marathon cooking, can it be later now?"

"You know, that barely made any sense." She laughed at him, good-naturedly.

"I'm sure you are well aware that I have trouble with coherency when it comes to you, Bella." He winked at her. Edward noticed that they were driving beside a park. He pulled over and pointed out the swings for her. She nodded her head and they got out of the car. They walked over to the swing set and each took a seat.

"I don't have the strength you did, Bella. God, I'm a grown man and I had to hide behind anonymous note to tell you how I was feeling. When I came back to Forks and found out that you were going to be the one to help out with Tyler my first reaction was anger. I thought that maybe you were only doing it to get closer to me. I was such an ass. Then when I found out what everyone at school was doing to you and why they were doing it, well, I started to think differently about you. The more I thought about you, the more I saw what kind of person you were, are, the feelings I had for you changed. When I came to your house after Tyler told everyone off the way you stood up to me and dismissed me, made me think that I would never have a chance with you. So I kissed you. I thought that maybe I could convince you that way. But you shot me down, and spectacularly too. I went home and had long talk with Tyler. He helped me and gave me ideas. To do something to get your attention, to get you to listen to me when I knew you wouldn't in person. I thought that a secret admirer would peak your interest. I'm sorry you thought it was creepy, that wasn't my intention. And if you want me to stay away from you I will but I don't want to."

Bella thought about what he said for a long time. Long enough to make Edward's heart start to clench in his chest. So, this is it, he thought, this is where she tells me to fuck off and leave her alone.

"So, what do you want now, Edward?" She finally said.

"I want to go on dates. I want you to know how much I've changed. I want a chance to treat you like you should be treated. I want to kiss you again, with your permission, and have you enjoy it as much as I do."

Bella just sat there. Could she, did she want to give him a chance? The things he said and the way he said them gave her reason to pause. He was different now than he was when he first came back. He made such an effort to win her attention. It was endearing but was that enough to start a relationship. The way he was with Siobhan reminded her of what he was like years ago when he was this handsome, idealistic youth she crushed on. He was still handsome, shit, he was more than handsome, and still idealistic enough. She wasn't crushing on him now but it wouldn't take much to change that. She just didn't know if she could trust him with her heart. But then wasn't he saying the same thing, kind of?

She was getting cold, the air was wet and chilly out here in the open. She got off her swing and slowly walked back to the car. Edward trailed after her, no idea what was going on now. She stopped at the passenger door and leant back against it. He stood in front of her waiting for the end.

"You know, Edward, I never got a New Year's kiss."

Edward's face broke out in a huge grin. He took a few steps forward and put his hands on the roof of the car on either side of her head. He leaned in slowly, just in case she changed her mind. He carefully placed a gentle kiss on her cheek just like the one he gave Siobhan. He leaned back and looked at her. She smiled at him so he leaned in and did it again. He kissed a line from her cheek to her mouth. He kissed slowly but with increasing pressure until one of her hands came up and rested on the back of his neck. He slid one of his hands inside her coat and held on to her waist, pulling her flush up against him. He opened his mouth a little to see what her reaction would be. She snuck her tongue into his mouth and that was it. He was gone. It was the best kiss of his life and he knew he was falling for this girl. He increased his grip on her and deepened the kiss. He never wanted to let her go.

A car horn blared at them as the car drove past. He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers. She shivered slightly, no longer being heated by his body.

"Come on, Pretty girl. Let's go home."

**AN: This is the last regular chapter. There will be a longer epilogue in about a week. There is an out-take that I will post in a few days if anyone is interested.**

**You guys are better support than control-top pantyhose. Thank you for your kind words. I wasn't really concerned about the pacing of the story but the starting notes are the only way I can respond to my 'Guest'. Plus I wanted to make everyone laugh as much as 'Guest' made me laugh. You do have to admire the poor dear, she reads every story, every chapter, and stays up all night thinking of different ways to make herself feel better for having no creativity or imagination by trying to insult others. I've seen her posts on other stories, she is very egalitarian with her vitriol. Bless her heart, I don't think she has ever read a written word she likes.**

**To all the other guests, I'm sorry your name gets tainted by one or two trolls, but know that I appreciate your comments as much as everyone else's. I have about six months worth of replies for everyone but I'll blanket it for now, thank you, thank you, thank you.**

**sbc**


	30. Chapter 30

**This takes place just after Bella beans Edward with the flowers in chapter 14.**

**I don't own Twilight. I do own a kick-ass Tyler, in my opinion.**

Tyler schools Edward

Edward stood, dazed, on Bella's porch for a long time. What the hell happened? He hadn't thought things through when he kissed Bella but he didn't expect this reaction. He though, maybe, she would give him time to explain himself. He thought that maybe a good kiss would show her that his feelings were changing. He could show her that he didn't want to let her go, he didn't want her to let him go. Obviously he was wrong. And now he made things worse.

Edward got into his car and drove back to the Crowley's. He needed a shower and a drink, a short shower and long drink.

When he pulled in to the driveway, Tyler was shooting hoops against one of the garage doors. Tyler took one look at Edward as he climbed out of his car and started to laugh.

"Shit man, what happened to you?" Edward looked like crap, his hair was dusty and sticking up all over the place. He looked like someone had stolen his puppy.

"It's a long story." Edward grumbled as he started to make his way to the stairs to his apartment.

"I got time." Tyler said, passing the ball from one hand to another.

Edward stopped, he had one foot on the first stair. It might not be a bad idea to get an opinion or maybe some help with his problems. Tyler was a good listener and they had become friends.

"Can you come up?" Tyler dropped his ball and ran to the kitchen door, shouting to his mother that he was going to Edward's.

Edward grabbed a beer and a soda for Tyler when he got in his place. He tossed off his jacket and flopped on to the couch.

"So, what did you do for her to react like that?" Tyler asked as he opened his soda and sat across from Edward.

"What are you talking about?"

"By the looks of you, this has something to do with a chick. Your face says it all. You did something she didn't like and she let you have it. So, who is she and what did you do? Or he? You know, could be a guy if you swing that way. Either way, it's cool with me, man."

"No, I don't swing that way. It's a girl. I fucked up really badly. She's got me all tied up in knots. I don't know what to do. I've never acted more like a idiot before. No, that's not true. I've been an idiot with her for years. I'm just starting to realize that." Edward took a long pull of his beer. It wasn't helping but it tasted good.

"Start at the beginning. Who is she?"

"You can't tell anyone. Especially her, 'kay?"

Tyler nodded.

"Bella."

"Oh fuck man, I knew that. You get weird when she is around. But I thought you hated her. You treat her like shit, you know."

Tyler was right. He did treat her badly. He made assumption after assumption about her from the moment he saw her again. The pit he dug himself was huge and he had no idea how to get himself out.

"You saw that?"

"Man, I broke my brain, not my eyes. So, tell Dr. Tyler everything."

Edward snorted and told Dr. Tyler everything. About Alice and Bella, about Bella's letter and crush, about how he dealt with it. About how he acted and felt when he found out that she's be helping out so he could have a lunch break. About the note and the things he said to her that day. About talking to Katie and seeing Bella in a different light. He confessed to using Tyler to help Bella at school. Tyler just waved off the apology for that. Then he told him about what happened at Bella's.

It took about ten minutes for Tyler to stop laughing at Edward.

"I thought you were smart, but shit, you are really dumb man."

"Great, thanks for that. You can go home now."

"So, you don't want my help?"

"I'm in so deep, I'd take help from Mike Newton."

"Okay, first thing we need to do is…."

**AN: I forgot to post anything with this out-take the first time. No explanation, no disclaimer, and no note. I think I ran out of words. Sorry for any confusion.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Freaking finally! I've had a less painful time tweezing minute hairs than pulling these words out of my mind. But here is the full and finished epilogue. **

**I don't own Twilight. I don't own a lot of things and that's okay with me.**

Chapter 30

Charlie Swan paced the living room of his small house. He was trying to come up with the right words. He had half his speech prepared with phrases that no man should ever have to say to his grown daughter. The first time he had had this kind of talk with her was much easier. She was only twelve, she needed the information and didn't know enough to be embarrassed that her father was giving it to her. Mind you, all he really had to do was hand her the book that the lady at the library recommended and tell her to ask if she had any questions. A year later Esme Cullen moved to town and Charlie happily handed her carte blanche to continue Bella's education in these matters.

But this conversation was much harder. He would have to talk about feelings and emotions. And contraception, shit, he forgot about contraception. He looked at his watch. He didn't have time to drive to the next town to pick up condoms, cause there was no chance in hell he was going o get them at the Thriftway. That little manoeuvre would be all over town in a heartbeat. Plus he thought that maybe providing latex for his daughter would be construed as giving permission.

Also then he would have to consider which size to get. That was a mental picture of the little shit she was seeing that he didn't want to have. As far as Charlie was concerned Mr. Grabby Hands better be sporting a Ken doll crotch if he wanted to date Charlie's daughter. Charlie liked the kid up to a point. He was polite without being smarmy and he treated Bella well if her smiling face was an indication. He was older but not too old. His background check came in clean as did his credit check. The regular patrol unit never mentioned anything unusual happening at his apartment when Charlie told them to be on the lookout. He was a good kid. But still he was a kid that probably wanted to stick it to his daughter next weekend after Bella's prom. That fact alone made Charlie want to show the shower drain reject the inner workings of a Beretta.

Charlie checked his watch again. Bella should be home any minute. She had spent the weekend up in Seattle with Alice dress shopping. He knew his daughter would come home with something tasteful and demure not like those little sluts in her class. Maybe he should have stopped at two beers this afternoon. Maybe four was too much but he felt he needed the courage to get through what he had in mind. But his brain was feeling a little fuzzy. He went outside hoping that the damp air would help clear his thinking.

That's when he noticed the car parked just down the block, it was the stud muffin's shitty Civic. He also noticed that soon to be soprano Cullen was necking with Bella in the front seat. He turned around and slammed the door behind him.

Now he was mad. Just because she was conceived on Prom night didn't mean he was ready to be a grandfather because her's was next weekend. He stood just inside the door with his arms crossed over his chest. No, he thought, too confrontational. He walked over to his recliner and sat down. He closed his eyes to relax for a minute.

Twenty minutes later Bella walked in to the house to find Charlie sleeping in his chair. A couple beer cans empty at his side. She laughed to herself and decided to let him sleep. A mid-afternoon nap wouldn't kill him. She grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch and spread it over him. He snuffled and started to talk in his sleep. Bella sat down to listen. He didn't do it often but it was always very entertaining when he did. He didn't speak in full sentences but individual words that when pieced together gave insight to his dreams. Words like pressure, abstinence, condom, virginity, prom, Chevette, and castration tumbled out of Charlie's dreams. It was all Bella could do not to laugh out loud at her father. He had obviously been planning some sort of sex talk with her and she was very happy that he slept through it. She stood up and walked over to his recliner. She kissed his forehead and looked down at him lovingly.

"Oh Dad, thanks for your concern, but that ship sailed months ago. I'm being safe and I'm happy. No need to talk about it further."

She left him in his chair and went upstairs to do some homework. In his dreams Charlie watched his daughter take a vow of chastity in front of the President while Chuck Norris had Edward in a headlock. It was the best dream he had had in years.

Charlie woke up feeling the beer he had drunk pounding behind his eyes. He knew there was something he had wanted to say to Bella but for the life of him, he couldn't remember what it was. Bella made a simple, starchy meal to help Charlie with his hangover. They chatted a bit about the weekend but stayed within safe topics such as the end of school and baseball season. Bella had her acceptance to University and her dorm assignment already. With Mike being sent away for the summer; he refused to say where, Bella had picked up a full schedule at Newton's for the summer. There was a sophomore starting in August who would fill Bella's part-time position when school began again. Every single one of Bella's ducks were lined up very prettily in a row.

After many long talks with the school's guidance counsellor Bella had a six year plan to become what Charlie stubbornly called a Home Ec. Teacher. Bella was enrolled to take classes in Economics, Accounting, Culinary Arts, Teaching and even some Organic Chemistry. Every time Tyler called her Martha she smacked him. Some of her classes would be taken at the local community college where both Tyler and Edward were attending. Both were going to take Small Business Management, Edward with the goal of opening his own Physiotherapy clinic and Tyler wanted to open a candy shop. They were even going to split an apartment together, a two bedroom man cave. Tyler had his license reinstated six months after his last seizure but was still content to have Edward drive him almost every where. Including to prom.

After observing Edward bumble through his secret crush on Bella, Tyler felt quite confident asking Jane to go to prom with him. Jane was delighted, she had had a crush on Tyler for years but had never been on his radar before. They started dating about a month before prom and were very happy together. Tyler had been worried that his brain injury would deter her, Jane had been worried that the extra thirty pounds she carried would deter him and they were both wrong.

Once Bella had successful escaped the dreaded talk with Charlie she relaxed in her bed staring at the ceiling. She remembered back to the night she had stormed over to Edward's apartment to confront him. Their relationship had been going well. They talked a lot. Edward came to dinner a few nights a week and sometimes, most of the time, got along with Charlie. They kept their relationship to themselves at school but were occasionally seen around town together. No one batted an eye at them being a couple. The only tension between them was just that, tension. Or rather Edward's tension. After that New Year's Eve kiss there were other kisses, lots of other kisses, but nothing else. Edward's hands did not wander or stray. If Bella's hands wandered anywhere south of Edward's ribs he froze and redirected her hands. Bella tried talking with him, letting him know subtly that she was ready for more, but he would change the topic or avoid her questions. Bella was getting more frustrated by the day. She was falling for him and wanted to express her feelings physically but he seemed unaffected by her at all. They had had the previous partner talk; he had a few, she had none. They had had the safety talk. He had been tested before starting to work for the Crowleys as part of a standard health check. Bella had been getting the shot for three years on the advice of her doctor. Bella didn't know what else to do short of draw him a map.

During March break Charlie had a fishing trip that took him out of town for four days. After a lovely date together where Edward came over for dinner and stayed to watch a few movies, Bella was feeling worked up and frustrated. The last movie they had watched hadn't been provocative or even slightly soft-core porn-like but there had been a few sex scenes and they had missed the ending because there were making out on the couch. As soon as it got too hot and heavy for Edward, he shot out of there like Charlie had threatened him, proclaiming that it was late. Bella stormed around the house for hours before grabbing her car keys and speeding to Edward's apartment. Bella was determined to get to the bottom of his issues. If he didn't want her sexually then he should just tell her. She didn't want him stringing her along, it wasn't fair to both of them.

She hammered at his door until he answered it, wearing just a towel. Some of her resolve left her but what remained forced her to go on.

"Bella, are you okay? What are you doing here?"

"I don't think we should see each other any more."

"What? Why?" Edward was thoroughly confused. He had just enjoyed a very nice shower, twice, while thinking about his girlfriend. Now she was at his door breaking up with him.

He pulled her inside and shut the door. He jogged into his bedroom and grabbed a hoodie to cover up. She stood just inside the door, waiting.

He walked back into the room and sat on the couch. He patted the seat beside him and watched as she came towards him. She didn't know how to start the conversation that she felt they needed to have. She took a deep breath and jumped in with both feet.

"I think we should stop dating and just be friends. We've become good friends in the last three months but that's it. There seems to be nothing to us other than friendship."

Edward just stared at her. He couldn't believe what she was saying.

"I just don't think you are interested in a romantic relationship with me, Edward. I think you liked the idea of it, as a way to make up for your behaviour before, but it is fairly obvious that you have no real interest in me. I mean, you don't find me physically attractive, I understand that and it's fine, but I don't think it's fair to continue dating like this. Not fair to either of us, because some day you might find some one you do want and I don't want to get in the way of that."

Bella watched him the whole time she spoke. He barely moved a muscle. He just moved enough to breathe and blink. His lack of reaction spoke volumes to her.

She lent over and kissed his cheek. She stood up and walked back over to the door. She had hoped that she was wrong and that there was some other explanation than she repulsed him, physically but he made no move to stop her from leaving. He was probably relieved that he would not have to pretend any longer.

"Good night, Edward. Call me in a few days and we can chat, okay?"

She opened the door and went out into the cold March night.

Bella sat in her truck for a few minutes to get a handle on her emotions before making the drive home. She didn't want to cry and drive at the same time, it wouldn't be safe. She was happy that Charlie was out of town so she could break down at home with out bothering him. Her first relationship was over and it had fizzled out like a spent sparkler. It had had such great potential too but now there was nothing left for her to do but move on.

Bella raised her head and concentrated on putting the key in the ignition. She started the truck and glanced a look out the window and swallowed a scream. Edward was standing, arms crossed over his chest, glaring at her in front of her truck. He was still only wearing a hoodie and a towel. She stopped the truck and waited. He stood there for a minute before stalking over to the driver's door and yanked it open. He grabbed her arm, pulled her out of the vehicle and up the stairs into his apartment.

"What the fuck was that?" He asked as he dragged her into the living room. She wrenched her arm free and sat on the couch fuming.

"What part didn't you understand? I'm letting you go so you don't have to pretend any more. I mean, it's obvious that you don't want me the way I want you. What other conclusion can I reach than that? I don't want to fight with you about this and if it goes on much longer it will be that much harder to end it."

"I don't want to end it, Bella. I'll admit I've been hesitant with you but that doesn't mean I don't want you."

"Hesitant, bullshit. You couldn't be more tense any time I've tried to touch you. We get to a certain point and you stop. There's only so much rejection I can take, Edward."

"I was trying to be respectful not reject you. I wasn't sure if you were ready for more and I didn't want to push you too far and have you end up regretting it."

"So, you push me away instead? How is that not rejection, Edward? What am I supposed to think about that? That's not respect. Respect would be talking to me about it. Respect would be listening to me and trying to understand what I want while voicing your opinions. Making a unilateral decision about our physical relationship is not respect, Edward. If you want to wait until you do find me attractive you should let me know. We should talk about it, together."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I've made so many mistakes with you in the past and I just keep making more of them. I was afraid that you would think that I only wanted you for sex. I wanted to show you that I was interested in your mind and your thoughts not just your body. I guess I went too far. I didn't think you would interpret it as me not wanting you at all. I thought you knew how I felt. I love you, Bella, all of you. You have no idea how difficult it has been not to touch you the way I want to."

He leaned forward and place both of his hands on her knees. He had forgotten that he was only wearing a towel and the fabric fell to one side exposing one thigh.

"So, I don't repulse you?"

"Fuck, no." He leaned closer wanting to kiss her and show her exactly how much she did not repulse him. He was shocked and a little saddened when she stood up. His hands fell down to his sides and he had to bend backwards a bit to see her face from above him.

Bella looked down at him. He had such a sad, almost pained look on his face. She raised one hand and stroked his cheek before cupping his chin in her hand. She bent down and kissed him softly and smiled at him.

"That's good to know. By the way, you don't repulse me either."

Edward laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist. Bella moved her legs so that she could sit astride his thighs. Their kiss was full of passion and apology, voicing what they could not convey properly with words. They explored each other in ways they hadn't before but both were too tired and emotionally overwrought for much more that night. They each had a tacit knowledge that it was too soon and there was too much talk about before fully surrendering to their desires.

That was the first night Bella slept at Edward's apartment.

Bella woke up the next morning feeling overheated. She had never shared a bed with anyone before and although she was very comfortable, Edward let off a lot of body heat. She tried to get up but he had her pinned to the bed. His arms were tight around her. His head was tucked into the back of her neck and she could feel his hot breath through her shirt. One hand was gripping her breast and the other was splayed across her hip. She glanced at the alarm clock on the night-stand. They had only been asleep for a few hours but it was morning and she couldn't sleep any longer.

She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he only held her tighter. She stroked the hand covering her breast to see if he would let go. Her gentle touch made him groan and begin to move behind her. It was subtle at first but his movements gained strength and purpose the longer they lay there. The hand that had been on her hip moved up and under her shirt until he was caressing the bare skin of her stomach. His hips were rubbing against her slowly.

Bella reached back with one hand and ran her fingers through his hair. That action arched her back and pressed her backside to him. He moaned his delight. He loosened his grip on her breast and moved back to let her turn around to face him. Edward smiled at her sleepily and kissed her hard. He slipped his hand under her shirt and palmed her breast again. She ran her hands down his back and slid her fingers just under the waistband of his sleep-pants. He shuddered with pleasure at the feel of her hands on him. He pushed her shirt up as high as it would go and pulled his mouth away from hers. He bent his head and started kissing the breast the was not in his hand. When he took her nipple in his mouth and sucked on it, her hands clenched and her fingernails dug into his lower back. He raised his head and stopped kissing her long enough for her to remove her top.

As soon as she was freed from the fabric he all but growled at her and continued kissing her every where he could reach. He rolled over her and held himself up with his forearms as he kissed and sucked on her neck. Her hands found the waistband of his pants again and she pushed them away from his body and down his hips as far as she could reach. He took over shimmying them down and kicked them off. She wrapped one hand around him and started stroking his hard flesh. His eyes rolled back into his head.

Edward was slightly disappointed when Bella removed her hand from his dick and started to push on his shoulders. He rolled away from her, panting to catch his breath and sat with his back against the headboard. Bella made quick work of her underwear and threw one leg over him. His hands reached for both her breasts as she held his face in her hands, kissing him. Her hips rocked back and forth over him.

Bella slowed her movements and pulled back to look at Edward. He moved his arms so that he was holding her in a gentle embrace.

"I love you, Edward. I didn't say it last night, but I do."

Their next kiss was soft and reverent. Bella raised up on her knees and reached to hold him in one hand as she guided him into her body.

Bella's reminiscing was interrupted by Charlie's heavy footsteps on the stairs. She rolled over to the side and felt the heat of her blush on the pillow. She was very happy that Charlie did not come into her room to say goodnight. There was no way she could explain the blush or the goofy look on her face to her father.

For Bella that morning had been beyond magical. It was not the explosive, orgasmic coming together of souls like she had read about in those books she wouldn't admit to liking. Sure it was passionate, but it was also messy, awkward and a little painful. It didn't matter to her that she didn't come and Edward did. It didn't matter that he seemed to finish just as she was getting started. All that mattered was that they were together and in love. There was plenty of time for orgasms later.

For Bella and Edward there was plenty of time. They moved in together three years later. Edward started up a little clinic in Tacoma focusing on sports injuries. He partnered with a few people, a massage therapist, a nutritionist, a nurse practitioner, and another physiotherapist. It was a few lean years until they turned a profit but they enjoyed working with each other and became good friends.

By the time Bella graduated with her degree there was both a hiring freeze for High School teachers and budget cuts that hit the arts and domestic sciences departments state wide. She found part-time work combining cooking and English as a second language at a community college near the university. She loved her students and quickly learned how to swear in many different languages.

The only problem that effected their relationship wasn't an issue that they had with each other, but rather ongoing arguments they had with their families. Although Bella was eventually able to convince Edward that marriage wasn't for them, Alice and Esme harped on the matter every holiday meal. Nothing either of them could say would sway the pair from their plan to live in glorious sin, or common-law, no matter how hard the ladies tried. Surprisingly Charlie was all for it and Carlisle didn't care one way or the other. But when the discussion turned to children, the tides turned. Charlie refused to stop asking for a grandchild. For years he asked, cajoled, begged and pouted. It wasn't until Bella and Edward gave him a Basset Hound puppy that he backed off.

Tyler Crowley quietly observed Edward and Bella's relationship from the comfort of his laptop on their many Skype chats. They both claimed him as their best friend and told him everything. He knew every argument and disagreement they had. He opened his candy shop and lived happily ever after.

**AN: There are too many people to thank and I am woefully behind in responding to reviews. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to leave me a message, yes, even the nasty guest ones. Thank you for reading.**


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